Post 81: Are you freakin' kidding me?!

So I logged on to Facebook tonight and found a message in my inbox.

I got a little excited thinking it was Mr. Incredible but was VERY disappointed and VERY PISSED OFF to find out it wasn't from Mr. Incridible, but rather, Mr. So Wrong.

"Hey whats up stranger how's life going? well i hope all is well...lol well wrtie me bac if ya feel up to it."

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!

What part of "Don't ever f****** talk to me EVER again" didn't he understand?!

Plus he had SO many typos in that sentence...ugh!

Why won't he feckin' leave me alone?!

I bet he finally realized how amazing I was after spending all that time with his skank-whore girlfriend (that he cheated on me with might I add) and wants me back.

TOO BAD SUCKAH!

I deserve better and better's what I'm waiting for!

----------------------------------

On a happier note, I bought the new iPod touch today! I love it!

Post 23: "You're so picky Jessi"

A few people have told me I'm too picky when it comes to men.

I agree.

I just tell them I know I deserve the best and I won't settle for anything less. Usually I get those looks as if they were saying, oh so you're better than all of us now eh? or they'll just say "well good for you" and walk off.

While I don't necessarily agree that I'm better than any of them, I do however, know that I have a lot of respect for myself.

And so I tell them finding a potential boyfriend (and eventually husband) is like buying cable.

Allow me to explain.

There are three different types of cable.

• Basic Cable
• Premium Cable
• Deluxe Cable

With Basic Cable you have a 50/50 ratio. You get 50% of the channels you want and 50% of the channels you don't want. And while you're happy with basic cable for awhile, you find yourself missing your favourite channels (for me those favourite channels are: The Food Network, VH1 and TLC) and hating the channels you're forced to pay for but don't want, at all (my examples are: Sports Center, The Disney Channel, and LOGO).

After you get bored/fed up with Basic Cable you decide to break up with him and then you meet Premium Cable.

Now Premium Cable is much better than Basic Cable. With Premium Cable you get 75% of the channels you love. You love being able to watch Ace of Cakes on The Food Network, Music Videos on VH1 and What Not To Wear on TLC, as well as your other favourite channels. However, after you get those first few bills you realize you are paying for the 25% of the channels you don't watch and you decide you hate having to pay for Sports Center, LOGO and The Disney Channel.

So you decide to break up with Premium Cable and take a short break before shopping around for Cable again.

Then you meet Deluxe Cable. Deluxe Cable appears out of nowhere, it's like Deluxe Cable waited until you weren't looking before he swept you off your feet with his Deluxe-icousness.

Deluxe Cable is the best of the best. It's like you got to choose what channels you wanted and you could omit the ones you didn't want. You get The Food Network, TLC, VH1 & MTV, HGTV, and that station that plays all of the old shows you watched growing up. Deluxe Cable has 95% of all the channels you love and only 5% of the channels you don't (for example, Sports Center) but you don't care because you have everything else you've ever wanted.

And while you had to wait a little while for Deluxe Cable to come along and yea maybe you had to pay a little bit more for it, in the end it's 10000000000% worth it.

I've dated Basic Cable and I've dated Premium Cable (more than once) and after breaking up with both of them, I'm more than happy to wait for my Mr. Deluxe Cable.

Post 7: Conversations with Babe

Yesterday was my friend Babe's birthday so after practice I decided to drive to her college and hang out with her for a little while...plus she's been going through some difficult things and I wanted to make sure she was okay (see Post 6: I wish). Babe is great at multi tasking. She was texting some dude, we'll call him Niles, while we were talking. This is a small snippet of the conversation we had while sitting outside her dorm.

Babe: [receives a text] "Ohhh. I'm so nervous!"
Me: "Ummm. Why?"
Babe: "Because he's probably gonna ask me out, just wait..." [texts Niles back]
Me: "So, it's not like you're gonna actually go out with this dude since you already have a boyfriend...are you?"
Babe: "No, I won't...but I'm still nervous. I always get nervous when guys ask me out." [texting again]
Me: [laughing] "Oh, H..."
Babe: "What do I tell him if he does ask me."
Me: "Oh I don't know...except maybe that you already have a boy and don't want/can't handle another one."
Babe: "I know but he's super cute...I wish you could meet him and see for yourself."
Me: [smiling/laughing a little]
Babe: ",What do I do Love...I'm nervous" [laughs]
Me: "Tell him you have a boy...nip it in the bud before it gets worse...duh."
Babe & Me: [laugh]
Me: "So anyway continue on with your previous story..."
Babe: "Oh, right as I was saying...[receives text and shouts] AHAHAHAHA"
Me: "What?"
Babe: [laughing] "He just asked me out, what do I do what do I do???? Tell me! What do I say?!" [stares at me with a look of nervousness and eagerness]
Me: [looks at her with the look of didn't we just have this discussion 1 minute ago]

Okay so for probably all of you that conversation doesn't seem very funny, but if you knew my friend Babe and the thoughts that go on in her head, the things that come out of her mouth...you'd find it a hell of a lot funnier! She acts kind of like a hybrid of Jessica Simpson from Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and Anna Faris from the Scary Movie movies except unlike those two girls, she's actually really smart and for the most part has pretty good common sense...she's just kind of ditzy and unpredictable when it comes to what she says. Which is why I love her so much. She keeps me laughing. And guessing.

Sadly at 11:30pm it was time for us to say our goodbyes. So we hugged and said our goodbyes. Once she was in her dorm I sent her a text and we had a mini text convo:

Me: "I love you more than oxygen"
Babe: "Haha your silly :) love you too"
Me: "lol..."
Babe: "By the way that was the best birthday present ever"
Me: "lol...what the frosty?" (I bought her a Frosty for her birthday because I'm poor)
Babe: "Seeing You!"
Me: "awwww...really?"
Babe: "Yes :) for sure was the highlight of my day"
Me: "well that says a lot since your day was lame...haha...jk"
Babe: "true...in shower lol :) text after"
Me: "K...have fun"
45 minutes later
Me: "I made it home alive"
Babe: "good! I'm glad!"
Me: "me too"

H during a softball prank at Walmart...she'd kill me I put this pic on here...oh well