e una bella vita

Post 95: if...

2009-02-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

"if if's and buts were cocks and nuts i'd be getting gang-banged right now!"

Post 94: photo post

2009-02-24T06:55:00.001-08:00

it's been awhile since i've posted pictures of EJ on here. she's changed so much!

here's a little update on the most adorable little girl on the planet.

instead of crawling she rolls all over the floor. it's really funny actually.
she loves Gerbers Puffs. her favourite's are Strawberry Apple, Sweet Potato and Banana.
she has one tooth, on the bottom.
she can walk if you hold her arms.
she has the cutest laugh ever! her whole body laughs.
she can saw "Mama" and "Dada" and every now and then "Oh". it's really cute.
she has a lot more hair now, it's hard to see in pictures but it's there!
she waves, sometimes.

here are some new pics (in order: sitting in her high chair at breakfast, Christmas Morning playing with the drum she got, On the beach in FL at Christmas, in the rental car in FL, in her stroller shopping in Miami, in the pool at the hotel in Napels, sitting on the couch at Oma and Opa's ready to go out for dinner):

Post 93: the one with the fight about the dishes

2009-02-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

my roommate just informed me that i have never done her dishes before.

i could've lept off the couch and strangled her skinny neck.

since we've moved in together i've washed her dishes (and her boyfriends dishes when he stays over) at least five times and cleaned up after her (she leaves trash and such in the living room) many times.

i'm the type of person who washes my dishes daily, or right after i use them if i have time. that way the dishes don't pile up and get really gross (i also rinse out my dishes too).

she on the other hand will wait until there is no room in our double sink (yes, double sink) to put another dish, or until we run out of dishes altogether.

it drives me mad.

then she complains about how many dishes she has to do!

are you bloody kidding me?

ugh. the roommate and i get along 90% of the time, really. but sometimes, sometimes i just wanna strangle her! ugh!

okay, i'm done venting now.

the roommate and i are about to eat veggie pasta and watch My Best Friends Girl and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. tomorrow is our day off, we get to stay up late tonight!

Post 92: Weekly Challenges

2009-02-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

i've decided to challenge myself every week with something. either by doing something for a week, or by not doing something for a week.

i will start today.

week #1 challenge: be a vegetarian.

wish me luck.

Post 91: survey time

2009-02-20T23:11:00.000-08:00

A
- Available : Yes.
- Age : 24.
- Annoyance : People who say “like” every two seconds and slow drivers.
- Animal : Dachshunds. I’m praying for a raise soon so I can maybe get one.

B
- Beer : Corona. But since I’m poor, Coors Light.
- Birthday : August 15.
- Best Friend : I have a few.
- Body Part on opposite sex : Take a guess. ;-)
- Best feeling in the world : Unconditional Love.
- Blind or Deaf : Deaf, though it would be very hard to never hear my niece laugh again. Or music.
- Been in Love : No.
- Been on stage? : Yes. Hated every second of it.
- Believe in Magic : Not really.
- Believe in Santa : He’s a pretty cool guy.

C
- Candy : Milk Duds.
- Color : Orange.
- Chocolate/Vanilla : Chocolate.
- Chinese/Mexican Food : Chinese.
- Cake or pie : Cheesecake.
- Continent to visit : Europe. I’d love to go back to Australia someday.
- Cheese : All of it. I love cheese.

D
- Day or Night : Evening.
- Dancing in the rain : I hate getting wet.

E
- Eyes : Hazel. Sometimes they change colour, depending on what I’m wearing.
- Everyone's got : there something.
- Ever failed a class? : Yes. Chemistry in 10th grade.

F
- First thoughts waking up : It can’t be 6:45 already. Can it?!
- Food : Is good.

G
- Greatest Fear : The dark.
- Goals : Happiness. Love. Contentment.
- Gum : Juicy Fruit.
- Get along with your parents : Yes.

H
- Hair Color : Dark brown.
- Height : 5’8”.
- Happy : Very.
- Holiday : Christmas. Followed closely by Thanksgiving.
- How do you want to die: Content with my life.

I
- Ice Cream : Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
- Instrument : I used to play the violin. My brothers got all the musical talent.

J
- Jewelry : Not so much.
- Job: Customer Service Representative.

K
- Kids : One day.
- Kickboxing or karate : I’ve always wanted to take a kickboxing class.

L
- Love : My life. My family. My friends. Laughing. Movies. The list goes on.
- Letter : J.
-Laughed so hard you cried : Many times, my niece cracks me up with her crazy faces and silly laughs.

M
- Milk flavor : Chocolate. Strawberry too.
- Movies : I am slightly addicted to movies.
- Motion sickness : Yes. Very easily. It sucks.
- McD’s or BK : BK.

N
- Number : 22. My old soccer number.

O
- One wish : Eternal happiness.

P
- Perfect Pizza : Pepperoni from Fratelli’s, a NY style pizzeria that just opened up. Makes me miss NY.
- Pepsi/Coke : Vanilla Coke.

Q
- Quail : Never had it.

R
- Reason to cry : I rarely cry. If I do it’s something serious.
- Reality T.V. : Hate it. Too much drama.
- Radio Station : 97.9 WNCI.
- Roll your tongue in a circle : Yes.
- Ring size : No idea.

S
- Song : What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong.
- Shoe size : 10 or 11. Depending on style and brand of shoe.
- Salad Dressingg : Ranch.
- Sushi : Delicious.
- Skinny dipped? : Not since I was 10.
- In the shower? : Every other day.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Blueberries.

T
- Tattoos? : Three. I want more.
- Time for bed : Whenever I’m about to pass out.
- Thunderstorms : Hate them.

U
- Unpredictable : In certain aspects of my life I am, others I’m quite predictable.

V
- Vacation spot(s) : I want to backpack through Europe.

W
- Weakness : I can resist everything but temptation.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you? : Not sure.
- Who makes you laugh the most : My niece. She’s 10 months old and already has me in stitches.
- Worst feeling : Disappointing others.
- Wanted to be a model : I hate being in the spotlight.
- Worst Weather? : Ohio weather.

X
- X-Rays : My knees. My gallbladder. My finger.

Y
-Year it is now : 2009.
-Yellow : Makes me happy.

Z
- Zoo animal : Penguins.

Post 90: seventeen again

2009-02-20T08:07:00.000-08:00

a few months ago i took a little trip to Walmart. i had to buy a few things and saw that Saving Private Ryan was only $5. so i decided to purchase it.

here is the story:

i finish shopping and go through the checkout. the woman scans my dvd and asks me for my ID.

i look at her surprised.

"it's because of your R rated DVD" she said, sensing my curiosity.

"oh?" i said in response, shaking my head and smiling as i got out my license.

"let me guess" she said, "you're older than 17?"

"um, yes, i'm 24." i said as i showed her my license, which is horizontal (in ohio that means i am over the age of 21).

"oh wow!" she said, genuinly surprised. "i didn't realize..."

"it's okay, it happens a lot." i say as i put away my license and grab my bags.

"when you're thirty and look twenty you'll appreciate it" she reassures me.

"thanks." i say as i walk away.

now, i get carded all the time for alcohol and when i smoked i got carded for cigarettes. but never, ever have i been carded for an R rated movie. i didn't even know they did that.

interesting.

so apparently i look like i'm 17. awesome.

i guess when i'm in my thirties and look twenty i'll appreciate it?

cheers to having a baby face.

Post 89: safe sex

2009-02-18T19:44:00.000-08:00

texting my friend Whit about our upcoming club/campus party/bar hop adventure...

me: if i leave with a guy make sure i have a condom. k?
whit: haha & a cell phone!
me: trudat.

Post 88: The Roommate.

2009-02-17T20:39:00.000-08:00

i have moved in with a girl i work with. crazy right? that's what everyone says. surprisingly it's going quite well.

she's loud, talks fast, is messy and her boyfriend snores like a freight train.

but she's hilarious.

expect many funny stories in the near future.

Post 87: It's been too long.

2009-02-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

So it's been about 3 months since I've posted. So here's a quick update on my life:

Got a job.
Moved into an apartment.
Bought a new laptop.
Read Twilight.
Fell in love with Edward Cullen.
Accepted Facebook friend request of ex-boyfriend.
Was told by said ex-boyfriend (excuse my French) "I really want to f*** you right now."
Was told by same said ex-boyfriend that he wanted to get back together with me and that he was still in love with me.

That is why i don't stay friends with ex's.

What the hell was i thinking when i accepted his friend request?

Stupid Facebook.

Bloody fantastic.

Post 86: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-11-30T18:12:00.000-08:00

What I've Done by Linkin Park

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

Post 84: Hmmm...

2008-11-27T17:17:00.001-08:00

Is it weird that my friend's boyfriend just called me beautiful on Facebook Chat?

He also said I was adorable.

He's from Peru so maybe it's a cultural thing?

Hmmm...

P.S. I just added some info about LMC (my coworker/friend/future apt buddy). Click on the link "Who's Who" on the right side of my blog.

Post 83: Movin' Up & Movin' Out

2008-11-25T19:04:00.001-08:00

There's a 96.4% chance I will be moving out within the next 2-3 months!

My friend/Co-worker (we will call her Little Miss Chatterbox, or LMC for short) lives in a studio by herself and really wants a bigger place and a roomie so we've decided to get a place together!

I'm oober excited, living at home is fine but I'm way too old to be living with the 'rents still.

I need to be on my own.

Wish us luck that we find a good apt in our price range!

---------------------------------------------

I'm also super excited about Thanksgiving! Turkey and all the fixin's! Mmmmm!

Gobble, Gobble!

--------------------------------------------

I really want to go on a fun road trip with my friends, the kind we used to go on in college. Where we'd decide to go somewhere on Friday after classes. We'd throw some clothes in the car and head out on a mini adventure/vaca. I miss those days.

Post 82: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-11-23T19:00:00.000-08:00

Where I Stood by Missy Higgins

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Post 81: Are you freakin' kidding me?!

2008-11-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

So I logged on to Facebook tonight and found a message in my inbox.

I got a little excited thinking it was Mr. Incredible but was VERY disappointed and VERY PISSED OFF to find out it wasn't from Mr. Incridible, but rather, Mr. So Wrong.

"Hey whats up stranger how's life going? well i hope all is well...lol well wrtie me bac if ya feel up to it."

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!

What part of "Don't ever f****** talk to me EVER again" didn't he understand?!

Plus he had SO many typos in that sentence...ugh!

Why won't he feckin' leave me alone?!

I bet he finally realized how amazing I was after spending all that time with his skank-whore girlfriend (that he cheated on me with might I add) and wants me back.

TOO BAD SUCKAH!

I deserve better and better's what I'm waiting for!

----------------------------------

On a happier note, I bought the new iPod touch today! I love it!

Post 80: First Day of Work

2008-11-12T16:07:00.001-08:00

Today was my first day of work.

It was probably the funnest (yes, funnest) time I have ever had working. Ever.

I've had a lot of jobs too!

The people I work with are so fun and sarcastic! I don't think I've ever laughed so much on a first day before!

I hope everyday (or almost everyday) is as fun as this one was!

I've decided that when I get my first paycheck (after I pay all my bills of course) I am buying an iPod touch.

I have a Nano right now (which I'm selling to LaJa) but I need one with more space. I've fallen in love with BooBears iPod touch.

Plus I haven't bought something for myself in a long time! I think I deserve a little something!

Out with the old...

... in with the new.

Post 79: I'm a Proud Tante!

2008-11-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

EJ is sitting up on her own now!

I remember when she was a newborn, all floppy and tiny.

I can't believe this is the same baby!

I'm a proud Tante indeed!

Post 78: Perhaps I should introduce them...

2008-11-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

I’d like to introduce you to the people I talk about most in my posts.

I’ll start off with my family:

Daddy-O: His real name is Stuart, he was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia. He met Mum at summer camp in Australia where she was living at the time. He was 21, she was 17. I should also mention that he was her camp counselor (scandalous yea?!). He claims he fell in love with her when he saw her walk off the bus (he even remembers what she was wearing!). He called her and hung up three times before he got up the nerve to call her (my dad is adorable). He knocked her up in 1980 and they tied the knot in July of 1981. Two months later they gave birth to Big Brother. He is the head Research Scientist at Scotts. He has a PhD in plant pathology (snore!). He likes spending time with his family, laughing at Mum and he researches everything for at least 5 months before he purchases it.

Mum: Her real name is Kate, she was born in Rochester, NY to a ¼ native American woman and a German immigrant man. Her father worked as a CEO for Kodak (yes my grandparents are LOADED, hence why I refer to them as G’Money!) and so they travelled the world. A lot! She’s lived in England, Sweden, and Australia…just to name a few. She and her family moved to Australia in her mid-teens, which is how she met Daddy-O. She left Australia to attend college in Portland, Oregon in 1980. Somehow she and Daddy-O hooked up (not sure when because she was in Portland and he was at University in Australia…). She got pregnant at the age of 18 and dropped out of college. She married Daddy-O in July of 1981 (in Australia), they moved to CA and there she birthed Big Brother in Sept of 1981. She enjoys tractors, combines, anything farm relating, her family, and saying “that’s what she said” as much as humanly possible.

Big Brother: His real name is Daniel, or Dan. He was born in Riverside, CA in Sept of 1981. He used to be a Police Officer but decided to resign because he thought the hours would prevent him from ever seeing his family. He met his wife in high school but they didn’t start dating until his Freshman year in college (2000). They’ve been together for eight years. In 2004 they tied the knot and in April of 2008 they became the proud parents to the most adorable little girl on the planet (I may or may not be biased…). He lives in The Ville and is a stay-at-home daddy. He is in a band with his bff, Jayford and enjoys cooking, playing the guitar and singing to his daughter, beer and his beautiful wife.

LaJa: Her real name is Laura. She was born in Cbus (at Riverside Hospital which is weird) in Oct of 1982. She is a FCS (Family and Consumer Sciences…aka Home Ec). She loves her job. She was the cool girl in high school and Daniel was not. They were friends for awhile before Dan FINALLY asked her out. In Aug of 2004 she and Dan got married. While we were out celebrating my 23rd birthday I got the greatest present ever! They told us they were expecting a baby in April of 2008. That was by far the greatest birthday present ever. In April of 2008 she gave birth to the most adorable baby girl ever, who also happens to be her “mini-me”. She likes Yankee Candles, spending as much time with her little girl that she can, hanging out with her husband and family. She and I are also training for a 5k in April of 2009.

Boo Bear: His real name is Josh. He was born in May of 1990 in Melbourne, Australia. He got his nickname at the age of 2. He loved watching “Yogi Bear” and he would always say “Hey, Boo Boo! Smarter than the average bear!” it was so adorable the way he said it that the nickname stuck. He is a freshman at MVNU (which is where Dan, Laura and I all went). He doesn’t yet know what he wants to do, something to do with teaching probably. He is in love with Babe but because he knows neither are ready for a relationship, has decided to not pursue anything more than friendship as of now. He plays rugby and wrestled in high school. He loves music and is a classic rock expert. His other passions are his family and friends and making people laugh. He is the sweetest most caring guy ever, he treats girls with respect and is kind of a Pimp…in a good way (if that’s possible). He’s never dated a girl because, as he says “high school relationships are stupid, lame and full of drama” (it’s also because he has his eye on Babe). He is my best friend and can make me laugh like no one else (think Dane Cook without the language…even his mannerisms are the same!).

EJ: Her real name is Emma Jane. She was born in April of 2008 here in The Ville. She is my little bff. My life changed forever the day she was born. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. She changes every day. She is just now starting to sit up and roll over (she’s lazy). She is almost completely bald except for her extremely blonde “fuzz” on her head. She has big ears that stick out like Yoda’s (she gets her big ears from her dad). She has the biggest, deepest blue eyes I have ever seen. She loves music. I’ve never met a baby who loves music as much as her. When she was a newborn the only thing that would get her to stop crying were The Ramones (no joke). She also loves to dance, laugh, play the piano and blow bubbles.

Now onto friends:

Babe: Her real name is Holly. She is one of my closest girlfriends. I’ve known her for about 4 years. She’s 5 years younger than me but her maturity amazes me. She is crazy, ditzy and adorable. She changes her mind every 5 minutes and always has to be busy. She’s going to Capital and majoring in Special Education. She plays softball and works at American Eagle as well. How she can fit all of that in and still have time to have a social life is beyond me! She likes Boo Bear a lot but knows she’s too busy for a relationship right now. They are so cute together though and all of us are counting down the days that they FINALLY get together (this has been going on for about two years). She loves playing softball, sleeping during movies, and we are both in love with O’Charley’s chicken fingers. She knows all of my deep, dark secrets and I know all of hers. She was there with me when I had a mini emotional breakdown and helped me through it. She’s the sweetest girl ever and I love her to pieces.

Fish: Her real name is Olivia. She got her nickname because she’s really ditzy and forgetful, kind of like Dorey in Finding Nemo. I met her about 3 or 4 years ago. I was really good friend with her older brother, Nick. Nick would bring her along when all of us would go out. She’s much younger than me and I see her as the little sister I never had. She is still in high school. She plays golf and is in show choir. She comes to me for advice, which I try to give. She knows all of my deep dark secrets and she reminds me every day that those “regrets” are what have made me the person I am today. Sometimes I forget that she’s only 15. She loves watching movies, eating loads of pizza (where she fits it all I have no idea!) and laughing. I can always tell when she’s getting scared during a movie because she talks to the people in the movie. It’s really funny but sometimes annoying. She’s been through a lot in her short life which has made her wise beyond her years. I love her to pieces.

T-Dawg: Her real name is Tricia. We met my freshman year, her sophomore year of college. She is originally from Illinois but moved to Indianapolis to be with a boy, whom she is now married to. We’ve been through it all together. She was there for me during my “rebel” days and was the shoulder I cried on when things turned bad. She is the one I can count on to “tell me like it is”. I know she’ll be brutally honest and she’s not afraid to tell me what I need to hear. We’ve had our disagreements but have always worked things out. She’s my rock. She is a 1st grade teacher at an Inner City school in downtown Indy. She loves what she does and loves her students. She just got married to an amazing guy (finally after so many crappy guys!). She’s the one I talk to the most about Mr. Incredible. She loves spending time with her husband, is John McCain’s number one fan, and she shares my love for Pizza Huts stuffed crust pizza with black olives. We once worked at Cedar Point for 3 days. I was willing to stick it out for the summer but after the third day she came back to our apartment and said “I can’t do this anymore!” She’s beautiful both inside and out and I owe a lot of who I am today to her.

K-Ten: Her real name is Kristen. We met during our sophomore year of college and roomed together our junior year before we both transferred out. She lives in Indy as well. She’s dating a drummer and works as a Program Director for NJTL. She lives in a duplex in downtown Indy with two of her friends (I’m oober jealous of her!). She loves McDonald’s breakfast and diet coke. She was my sidekick in college and we were together all the time. She loves to snuggle and take naps. She is an amazing tennis player. She’s funny, crazy and has her own dance. She and I beat Super Mario Brothers our junior year of college. It was pretty much the most exciting day of our lives! Sadly, due to being so busy our friendship isn’t as strong as it once was but whenever we see each other we just pick up where we left off. I know that even though we don’t see each other very often, we’ll always be friends.

Mr. Incredible: His real name is Dave. He graduated from OWU with a double major in computer science and history (he also has like 4 minors). He’s a smarty pants. We went to Jr High and High school together. We graduated together and have been going to the same church for over 10 years. He is incredible (hence his nickname). He’s currently living in China and teaches English to college freshman. I miss him like crazy. I started noticing him as more than a friend about two years ago. I recently wrote him a letter explaining my feelings and gave it to him before he left. I told him to take his time and think about it before he gave me an answer. I didn’t realize taking his time would take this long but I imagine he’s quite busy and it was a pretty intense letter. Due to conversations and observations brought to my attention by trustworthy people, I believe he shares similar feelings. Only time will tell. He’s everything I’m not and he’s everything I want in a boy. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before, not even the guys I’ve dated in the past. Not even Mr. Almost Fiancé! That says a lot I think. I miss him and think about him every day and wait, and wait, and wait to see him again.

Little Miss Chatterbox (LMC): Her real name is Hannah. She's a coworker of mine. She talks fast and she talks a lot. She makes me laugh and shake my head in amazement often. She lives in a teeny tiny studio apt downtown with her cat Topanga. She's very skinny and eats all the time (i want to kill her). She shares my love of Sushi, MTV drama, and sleeping. She also is a waitress at B-Dubs on her day off from our regular job. We are 96.4% sure we will be getting an apt together in a few months and we are both very excited (she said living alone is getting to be boring and depressing). I'll add more about her later.

Post 77: Moving Out?!

2008-11-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

So Babe texted me last night:

"Jess if we got an apartment and i commuted could we get it between like Marysville and Capital i want to live with you lol :("

Of course I'd love to live with her! She's one of my closest friends and it'd be so much fun. However, my job doesn't pay nearly as much as I thought it would BUT I'd have until Mid-Summer to save AND I get a Christmas bonus PLUS a raise in January.

So I'm hoping we can find one cheap enough that is halfway between her college and my work.

Wish us luck that we can actually do it! I'm oober excited!

Me & Babe

Babe, Me & Ace

Post 76: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-11-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse (video at bottom)

If shame had a face I think it
would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
Well here we go now one more time

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get it down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this

So when will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kinda thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how long I could get it down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this

So when will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle carousel, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle, yeah

So when will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

So when will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good

Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel
Sick cycle carousel...

Lifehouse - sick cycle carousel
Uploaded by Alexander_Band

Post 75: Before I was a "Good Girl"...

2008-11-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

This is a true story...before I became a "good girl".

It was my junior year in college and three of my friends (K-Ten, KL and CS) and I were at a club. I was slightly intoxicated (not falling over drunk but also not using my best judgement). Some older guy (prob mid to late 30's)comes over to our table and starts talking to us:

Pool Guy: [looking around the table] "Hey ladies, how ya'll doing tonight?"
Us: (almost in unison) "Fine, just talking and having a drink."
Pool Guy: "Well I came over to ask if you pretty ladies would like to go play some pool with my buddies and I!"
K-Ten, KL & CS: "No thanks, our boyfriends just went up to the bar and will be back soon. Thanks though." [they all turn to me and wait for my answer, aka lie]
Me: [to Pool Guy] (not catching on to the very obvious lie, since we were all single) "Hey wait! I don't have a boyfriend! I love pool! I'll play with you!"
Pool Guy: "Awesome! [pointing] We're over there. Come on over, we'll wait for you to start the game."

Pool Guy walks off and I start to stand up, excited about "playing pool". I look over at my friends who are all looking at me as if I were the dumbest girl in the world (which I am when I'm drunk).

KL: "What the hell is wrong with you! Why did you tell that guy you didn't have a boyfriend?"
Me: [confused] "Because I don't...anymore if you don't remember! (i had just broken up with Mr. Almost Fiance that summer) Why what's the big deal? He just wants to play pool!"
CS: [laughing at my stupidity no doubt] "By "playing pool" he means playing with you!"
KL & K-Ten: "hahahahahahaha!"
Me: [dumbfounded] "Seriously? No. He's over there by the pool tables [i point to where they are standing] with his buddies waiting for us to play with them!"
CS: [shaking her head] "No darling, they want to get you drunk, uhm, well more drunk than you already are and f*** you!"
Me: [shocked] "oh! really? he wants to f*** me?! cool! i mean not cool because i wouldn't f*** him but cool because he wants to f*** me!" [i look over at Pool Guy, smile and wave]
CS: [grabbing my arm] "Oh my lord. lets get out of here."

That ladies and gentlemen, is why I never drink unless I have my very protective and trustworthy friends with me!

When I drink my brain shuts off and my body takes over. If it weren't for my trusty friends I could've ended up in his bed, along with many other beds I'm sure. Eeeek!

I also have another funny drunk story to share...about how I was so wasted I puked in a litter box because I couldn't find the bathroom...I'll save that one for later.

My 21st Birthday - August 15, 2005 (slightly intoxicated after consuming 2 margaritas)

Post 74: Photos I Found

2008-11-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

These photos were taken in 1986. Daddy-O was a young lad of 28, Mum was 24 (my current age! holy cow!), Big Brother was 5 and I was 2. Check out Mum's sweet Reebocks (2nd photo...Oh the 80's).

Do I still look the same?

These photos are from my old camera I just found:

Look at how little she was! She's growing up too fast!

Post 73: German Village & Tricia's Visit

2008-11-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with German Village. I would move there in a heartbeat (if I had $600,000 to spend on a house!).

Boo Obama!

T-Dawg & Me at Schmidt's

Boo Bear & Big Brother (he just lost 100lbs!)

Post 72: I am no longer unemployed!

2008-11-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

I got the job at the bank!

Yay for making money, being busy and not having to pay for health insurance out of pocket anymore!

Whooopie!

-------------------------------------------------

Booo Obama won! Boooooo!

I can't believe America chose a man with no experience, who may not even be American born (if he has nothing to hide, why is his birth certificate locked away in Hawaii???) over an American war hero?

Money, that's all people care about these days! Ugh!

At least Prop 8 failed in CA!

P.S. Obama doesn't care about the middle class! He want's to take your hard earned money and give it to people who are too lazy to get off their asses and get a job!

SOCIALISM DOES NOT WORK!

Post 71: 18 Things You Can Only Say on Thanksgiving

2008-11-04T15:22:00.000-08:00

Boo Bear texted me this list.

Talk about a huge breast!
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
It's cool whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
That's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meet.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with you meat.
Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
You still have a little bit on your chin.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

Post 70: This is a funny story...NOT!

2008-11-03T13:10:00.001-08:00

We live out in the country and have our own septic.

One day we had the septic guys come and check out our septic, just to make sure all was well.

I must've been about 16 at the time.

I had just gotten home from school and went over to Mum who was talking to the septic bloke.

As Septic Bloke was telling Mum what not to flush down the toilet he looks over at me and says "no flushing condoms down the toilet young lady" then he winks at me and starts to chuckle.

He was the only one who was laughing.

Seriously who says that to a teen GIRL around her MOTHER?!

Ugh.

Maybe that's how the used condom ended up on the side of our road. Some girl didn't know what to do with her boyfriends used condom and so she decided to throw it out the window whilst driving down the road for fear that it would ruin the septic system!

Post 69: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-11-02T18:23:00.000-08:00

Crazy for You by Adele

I found myself today singing out loud your name
You said I'm crazy if I am I'm crazy for you

Sometimes sitting in the dark wishing you were here turns me crazy
But it's you who makes me lose my head

And every time I'm meant to be acting sensible
You drift into my head and turn me into a crumbling fool

Tell me to run and I'll race
If you want me to stop I'll freeze
And if you want me gone I'll leave
Just hold me closer baby
And make me crazy for you
Crazy for you

Lately with this state I'm in I can't help myself but spin
I wish you'd come over
Send me spinning closer to you

My
Oh
My
How my blood boils
It's sweetest for you
It strips me down bare and gets me into my favourite mood

I keep on trying
I'm fighting these feelings away but the more I do the crazier I turn into

Pacing floors and opening doors
Hoping you'll walk through
And save me boy because I'm too crazy for you
Crazy for you

Post 68: Job Update

2008-10-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

I just got a call today from the bank.

I got a second interview!

With the President of the bank!

eeeek!

I'm nervous but excited. I've waited 2 weeks for this, I better freakin' get this job!

Wish me luck!

Post 67: The Scariest Day of My Life

2008-10-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

My day started with a phone call from Big Brother asking me if I could come over and help him with EJ. He was not feeling well and needed to relax.

So I get to his house around 10:30am and I start playing with EJ while Big Brother tells me he is going to go take a bath (he hasn't taken a bath in over 10 years). So he grabs the space heater and heads to the bathroom.

15 minutes later I hear a crash come from the kitchen (their bathroom is off the kitchen). I figure BB must've just tripped on something and that was all. A few moments later I happen to peak around the corner (I'm sitting on the floor trying to get EJ to roll over) and see him lying half under the dining room table wearing only a pair of boxerbriefs. I thought maybe he dropped something or he was playing with Bruno (his Boxer)

I called his name and asked him what he was doing.

He didn't respond.

So I got up with EJ and walked over to him. He was lying on his side shaking and sweating.

I asked him if he was okay to see if he was conscious. He said he couldn't breathe.

So I put EJ in her exosaucer and got onto the floor. He grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. He kept mumbling and gasping for air.

Finally I heard him say "call Laura!" (his wife). So I got up and called Laura. At this point I'm beginning to panick slightly (I'm really good at keeping my cool under pressure, so I learned today). All I told her was "Dan is on the floor and he says he can't breathe. I need you to come home! I don't know what to do.

I hung up and got back down on the floor. He started reaching for my hand again. He grabbed it and he was still saying "I can't breathe!". He was beginning to slur his words.

I told him to roll onto his back so he could breathe easier. Then his hands and toes started to cramp up and turn white. The colour in the tips of his fingers was gone and he was still sweating and struggling to breathe.

Then he said "CALL 911!".

I called and told the dispatcher what was happening.

Me: "Hi I need an ambulance at _____________. My older brother passed out and he says he can't breathe and his arms and legs are really tingly"
Dispatcher: "Okay, so is he awake now?"
Me: "Yea he's awake and he isn't breathing very well. He's struggling for air and he says his hands and feet are really numb and tingly"
Dispatcher: "Okay, how old is your brother and is he on any medication?"
Me: "Uh, he's 27 and no he's not on any medication. He's really healthy and hasn't had any health problems ever."
Dispatcher: "Okay, ma'am I'll send somebody out right now. What's your name?"
Me: "Jessica, thank you"
Dispatcher: "No problem"

Not even 20 seconds later I hear sirens. I put my hand on his chest and it feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. I begin crying a little at this point. My whole body is trembling and my voice is shaking. He asks me to run to the bathroom and get his sweats. I put on his pants for him and get back on the floor. I keep my hand on his bare chest to feel his heart and my other hand is holding his cramped up hand.

Then the fire department shows up and they start hooking him up to machines and checking his heart rate.

Laura arrives and is in tears which then causes me to tear up again. I tell her it's okay, that he's okay.

They tell him to start breathing slower and to take deep breaths. They check his heart rate and it's 158 (normal is 80 - 120). They get him to start breathing normal and his hands and toes start moving again.

They sit him up and tell him he probably just overheated because he was in a hot room, in a hot bath with no ventilation.

He's okay now. But damn, scariest day of my life. I thought he was having a seizure or something.

It's amazing how something like this really shows you how much you love someone. I couldn't imagine my life without my Big Brother. As much as we argue and how he sometimes frustrates the crap out of me! I love him to pieces and he's an amazing husband and dad. Oh and did I mention he's lost 100lbs in the last year (the EMT's said that had nothing to do with him passing out)! Talk about motivation!

I love you Big Brother! Don't you ever fecking scare me like that again! I don't know what I'd do without you!

Dan (4) & Me (1) - Oct 1985

Me (almost 3) & Dan (almost 5) - Early Summer 1987

(In Australia) Dan (8) & Me (5) - Winter 1989

Dan & Emma right after she came home from the hospital Cute Little Family: Dan (he looks like a thug), Laura & Emma (4 months) - August 2008
Daddy's Little Girl: Dan & Emma (5months) - Sept 2008

Post 66: Survey Wednesday

2008-10-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

* . . About You . . *
Eye Color:: hazel
Hair Color:: brown
Height:: 5’8”
Favorite Color:: Orange
Screen Name:: jayjay81584
Favorite Band:: Too many to list
Favorite Movie:: Too many to list
Favorite Show:: One Tree Hill
Your Car:: Red 2002 Ford Escape
Your Hometown:: I don’t really have one so I’ll put where I was born: Syracuse, NY
Your Present Town:: The ‘Ville, OH
Your Crushes First Name:: David (aka: Mr. Incredible)
Your Grade:: 6th year college senior
Your Style:: it changes everyday

* . . Have You Ever . . *
Sat on your rooftop?: yes
Kissed someone in the rain?: we were on a porch does that count?
Danced in a public place?: yes
Smiled for no reason?: all the time
Laughed so hard you cried?: often
Peed your pants after age 8?: haha, yes
Written a song?:: I tried but it sucked
Sang to someone for no reason?: yes, I sing to Emma Jane all the time
Performed on a stage?: yes
Talked to someone you don't know?: yes
Gone out of your way to befriend someone?: not really
Made out in a theatre?: tacky
Gone roller skating since 8th grade?: nope
Been in love?: nope

* . . Who was the last person to . . *
Say HI to you?: Laura (aka: LaJa)
Tell you, I love you?: Holly (aka: Babe)
Kiss you?: Justin (aka: Mr. So Wrong)
Hug you?: Liv
Tell you BYE?: Laura and Dan (aka: Big Brother)
Write you a note?: Holly
Take your photo?: Holly
Call your cell phone?: Holly
Buy you something?: Mum bought me dinner
Go with you to the movies?: Josh (aka: Boo Bear)
Sing to you?: Hmm…I sang Aerosmith with Josh in the store the other day
Write a poem about you?: Tricia (aka: T-Dawg)
Text message you?: Holly
Touch you?: Rose (the other coach) grabbed my coat out of frustration because the kids weren’t looping during practice after we had been working on it since early Sept.

* . . What's the last . . *
Time you laughed?: a few moments ago
Time you cried?: I don’t remember
Movie you watched?: Miss Petigrew Lives for a Day
Joke you told?: “How do you know that cheese isn’t yours?” “It’s NACHO cheese!” yes I tell corny elementary jokes but whatever, little kids think I’m cool
Song you've sang?: “Be my baby”
Time you've looked at the clock?: Just now
Drink you've had?: Chocolate Soy Milk
Number you've dialed?: I don’t dial numbers
Book you've read?: “The Six Wives of Henry VIII”
Food you've eaten?: B-Dubs
Flavor of gum chewed?: Sweet Mint
Shoes you've worn?: PUMA’s
Store you've been in?: Walmart
Thing you've said?: “Okay”

* . . Can You . . *
Write with both hands?: Yes
Whistle?: Yes
Blow a bubble?: Yes
Roll your tongue in a circle?: yep
Cross your eyes?: yes
Touch your tongue to your nose?: yes, I’m very talented…with my tongue
Dance?: only slutty dancing
Stay up a whole night without sleep?: many times, it’s called college
Speak a different language?: ich spreche deutsches wenig
Impersonate someone?: yes, I’m good with accents
Prank call people?: yes
Make a card pyramid?: nope
Cook anything?: anything you’d like

* . . Finish The Line . . *
If i were a ...: professional soccer player
I wish ...: he would tell me the answers to my questions
So many people don't know ...: about my past
I am ...: a work in progress
My heart is ...: full of joy and love

Post 65: My Life Soundtrack

2008-10-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

Soundtrack to your life

Opening Credits: Janie’s Got a Gun by Aerosmith

Waking Up Scene: Fields of Gold by Sting

Car Driving Scene: Two Princess by Spin Doctors

High School Flashback Scene: The Way by Fastball

Nostalgic Scene: Annie Waits by Ben Folds

Bitter, Angry Scene: Let’s Call the Whole thing off by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

Break-up Scene: Man on the Moon by R.E.M.

Regret Scene: Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

Nightclub/Bar Scene: Fantasy by Mariah Carey

Fight/Action Scene: I’m Yours by Jason Mraz

Lawn Mowing Scene: Superstar by Lupe Fiasco

Sad, breakdown scene: Come as you are by Nirvana

Death Scene: Famous in a Small Town by Miranda Lambert

Funeral Scene: Misery Business by Paramore

Mellow/Pot-smoking Scene: (I Just) Died in your arms by Cutting Crew

Dreaming About Someone Scene: A Beautiful Life by Lindsay Lohan

Sex Scene: Learn to Fly by Foo Fighters

Contemplation Scene: Viva La Vida by Coldplay

Chase Scene: Move your feet by JuniorSenior

Happy Love Scene: I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry (wow)

Happy Friend Scene: Wonderwall by Oasis

Closing Credits: Lost by Michael Buble

Post 64: Suicide

2008-10-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

A woman from my town committed suicide.

She left behind a 3 year old daughter.

While I feel her actions were selfish in that she left a daughter without a mother, I also wonder, what made her to do it?

What event or events in her life left her feeling so lost and alone and helpless that she felt her only option, her only way to peace was by taking her own life.

I thought about suicide once. I never acted on it (obviously), but I've been there. I know what it's like to feel so alone, so helpless, so lonely that you would contemplate suicide.

My heart breaks when I hear about people committing suicide. I wonder what was going through their minds right before they ended their life. If I could've done something to help. If anyone could've helped.

What if someone had just talked to them, listened to them. Would they still be alive?

Now we will never know.

My heart goes out to her, her family (if they even care, i have no idea) and mostly, her daughter.

Post 63: Mr. So Wrong

2008-10-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

So as I was going through my photo albums on my computer I came across these photos of Mr. So Wrong and I.

I thought I'd share before I deleted them.

Ugh.

He was kinda cute...I'll give him that much...and he was an amazing kisser...and an amazing...

And we did have fun together.

Okay I'm done.

He still disgusts me though. Bleh.

I don't have regrets, at least I don't like to call them that.

But if I had to choose one thing in my life that I am ashamed of, he is that thing. I am ashamed because I dated a guy that I knew wasn't a good guy to date, I did things with him that I wish I hadn't done (that I will one day maybe have to tell Mr. Incredible about or some other guy), I lied to my parents about so many things (bad lies not just little petty white lies - I friggin' lied for him!), he knows things about me that I wish he didn't know (painful secrets that I told him because I felt safe and comfortable with him - at the time)...I could go on (if you would like to know details you can email me, if you so wish).

I guess I should've known better than to date a guy who was into drugs...what the hell was I thinking???!!!!

I feel so retarded when I think of how much he brainwashed me. How easily convinced I was.

I'm a smart girl, especially when it comes to guys. I always have been.

But with him it was like he had me under a spell. I believed every word that came out of his mouth.

When he told me he didn't do drugs anymore, that he was turning his life around...lies, all lies!

And I fell prey to them. Such a bloody fool I was.

Bloody hell.

I like to tell myself that every girl, regardless of how smart they are with men are allowed at least one "what the hell was I bloody thinking" relationship.

He was mine.

Never again.

Never ever, ever.

I promise.

Post 62: Job Update

2008-10-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

So I got a call back from the bank. I am still in the running for the job. I have to take a personality test and then after the Prez of the bank review all the candidates they'll let me know about a second interview.

I feel like I'm applying for a job with the CIA or FBI. A personality test? Seriously?

I understand why they go through such measures when hiring people but I wasn't expecting a personality test.

I'm kinda nervous now!

Wish me luck!

Post 61: People Are Disgusting.

2008-10-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from running today.

While running I happened to step on something that was rather disgusting.

No it wasn't dog poo or a dead animal.

Nope it was much worse.

It was...

A USED CONDOM!

(not actual condom found)

Sick! I saw it and before I could dodge out of the way I stepped on it.

My shoe came in contact with some else's bodily fluids.

I nearly threw up.

Come on people. Ever heard of a napkin and a trash can?!

Sick.

My poor little PUMA.

Post 60: Week Two of CP25K and Updates

2008-10-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

Monday was the start of week two of my CP25K workout program.

It went well. I had to skip the last day of week one because it was on the day of T-Dawg's wedding.

Going from not working out for 6 days to working out again is rough.

LaJa (well I convinced her) and I decided that we are going to run a 5k in the Spring.

From now until December we are conditioning for the 5k and then from December until the Spring we are going to work on running it faster.

I'm excited. I've always wanted to run in a marathon before (is 5k considered a marathon?).

I think I'm more excited than LaJa though.

Wish us luck!

We need it!

-----------------------------------------------------

So about my interview...

It went really well (I suck at interviewing). I'm pretty convinced I got the job.

Usually when someone tells you to put in your two weeks notice that means you probably got it right?

I hope. Because she told me to put in my two weeks notice at DGP (she thought I still worked there).

I should know by Friday either way!

--------------------------------------------------

I watched EJ yesterday. I'm cherishing these last few times I get to watch her.

I gave her a bath in our kitchen sink before her nap. She did really well in sitting up but she tends too lean to far forward so I had to help her a bit. I can't believe how fast she's growing up!

She kept trying to pick up the bubbles but they kept disintegrating in her little hands.

She was confused and just stared at her empty hands for awhile before trying again.

Here are a few adorable photos of her in the sink.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Here are some more cute pics of EJ. Because I like to brag.

There's also two videos at the end. One of LaJa and EJ and one of EJ rolling over. So cute!

What can I say, I'm a proud Aunt.

Sitting up all by herself in the cart at Target.

I bought her that shirt from Baby Gap. It suits her perfectly.

Post 59: My Best Friends Wedding

2008-10-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

My BFF T-Dawg got married last weekend in Indy! I can't believe she's a wifey now! Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday we were Freshman in college! Unbelievable!

T-Dawg giving orders

Maid of Honour (sis of bride), Bride, & Mum of Bride
Still barking orders...lol

The Dress
One of the tables
K-Ten, J-Long & T-Dawg...I have beautiful friends :)
K-Ten twirling her dress
J-Long & T-Dawg
"The K-Ten Dance"
The defines T-Dawg & RayRay so well!
K-Ten being herself
RayRay's Jeep all decorated
The Garter Toss (she had an Army garter just for RayRay)

The Garter Toss

Roomies Forever!
J-Long & K-Ten
RayRay dancing
3/4 of us
The First Dance

Post 58: Circleville Pumpkin Show Photos

2008-10-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

(I stole these photos from LaJa)

EJ wearing her fuzzy boots

NY Giants Fan (LaJa and I went to High School with #57)

In her PJ's

Daddy-O & Big Brother eating Fish n' Chips
Boo Bear & Babe (wouldn't they make a cute couple?)
Babe & LaJa
EJ & LaJa
Boo Bear & Babe again

EJ & Babe
Me, Babe & LaJa
Big Brother & LaJa
Me & Babe

Me & EJ

(I took these photos)

EJ in the car

EJ & LaJa
EJ talking to her Daddy (Big Brother) Cute Face
EJ & Daddy-O chillin'

Post 57: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-10-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Crush by David Archuleta

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's been awhile since I've been on blogger. I just got back yesterday afternoon. I was in Indianapolis for my bff's wedding. It was beautiful! She was beautiful! It was great!

I'll have some pictures of the wedding up soon.

I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW ON MONDAY!!!!!!!

Wish me Luck!

Post 56: Blog ADD

2008-10-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get bored with my blog.

I like the way it looks I'm just bored with it.

I want something new but I still like the old layout.

Ugh. I hate having ADD.

---------------------------------------------

After yesterdays post I would just like to say that I am right as rain again.

No worries I'm back to me old self again.

I just hope I didn't scare people off (if anyone actually reads my blog) with my boldness.

My apologies if I did.

However, if you have any questions. Any questions at all (I'm an open book, really) please feel free to ask.

After what I just shared nothing is too personal now.

------------------------------------------------

Crikey I'm bushed. I wish I could take a nap but EJ is asleep (adorably I might add) on my bed.

I'll leave you with a few cell phone pics of the oh-so adorable Little Dumpling (her latest trick is blowing bubbles with her mouth; I'll try and get a video of her doing it up soon).

Post 55: Welcome to my Past...I hope you're prepared.

2008-10-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm normally a happy-go-lucky gal but every once in a while when my past likes to roar its fat ugly head and remind me of my scars that will never go away, I get a little down in the dumps.

It goes away after a day or so. It helps to write about it. I've only ever told my close friends.

But I feel like sharing. Not because I want your sympathy or for you to tell me you're sorry. I just want you to know.

Maybe by me sharing it will help someone else who perhaps shares a similar past. That would be a good thing. We could help each other maybe.

So here it goes. My past in a nutshell.

- I was locked in a closet and molested when I was five by an eleven year old kid who lived in my neighborhood (this is why I think I'm so afraid of the dark and being locked in small spaces).

- Because of that incident I was a very sexually confused child. My body was craving that sexual satisfaction. Even though I didn't even know what it was. I was a teenager trapped in a little girls body.

- When I was six I tried to have sex with a kid in my class during recess. Obviously because of physical complications (six year old boys normally don't get erections) it was unsuccessful. This left me frustrated.

- When I was eight I forced a little boy to "show me his", after he told me he didn't want to. I still feel guilty about it.

- I was molested and almost raped at the age of ten at a baseball park by three boys from my school (they were older than me). I was pinned down by Boy #1 and Boy #2 while Boy #3 molested me. Just as boy #3 was about to rape me they heard people coming and ran.

- I gave my first hand job at the age of ten to my thirteen year old neighbor. It was my idea.

- I lost my virginity at the age of eleven (1 month shy of 12) at the same ballpark I was almost raped at. He was a kid I knew from school. He was cute but was the "troublemaker" (he had a bad home life). This was also my idea (though he didn't object).

- A year later we moved to OH. I was the new kid and was confused and depressed.

- I thought about suicide when I was thirteen. I would've jumped but knew my parents and brothers would miss me too much.

- If it weren't for them I would've jumped. I thank God everyday for giving me such an amazing family.

I wouldn't change anything from my past, no matter how painful it was. I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe I will be able to help someone someday.

Age 5; innocence stolen.

Age 6; tried and failed

Age 9; the year before it got really bad

Age 11; goodbye virginity (I was in a school play, hence the costume)

I don't like to blame my past on my present problems but I sometimes wonder if maybe all of that stuff is why I have such a hard time with "boundaries" in relationships.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Moving on...

On our way home from shopping tonight (I had to buy things for the wedding) I told Mum that I used to smoke.

She didn't take it well.

Then we had a mini argument about sex, drinking, making mistakes, etc and whether or not it's just a part of growing up or whatever...

If she only knew the things I've done.

She'd have a heart attack and die.

Sometimes I wish I was the person she thinks I am.

It makes me sad sometimes, thinking about all the people I'd disapoint and all the hearts I'd break if people found out about what I've done.

I wonder what it's like to not have a "past".

Then again I don't think I'd be the person I am now if it weren't for my past.

And I like who I am now.

A quote by the oh-so wise and wonderful K-Ten, "Jessi, screwing up builds character and we have LOTS of character!!"

Amen sista.

Post 54: C25K in 9wks & Funny eCards

2008-10-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

I have decided to do this thing called "Couch Potato to 5k in 9 weeks". It looks easy and I kinda miss running.

Plus if I start today I'll be able to run 3 miles by the time I go to Florida!

And hopefully I'll be slightly smaller when I go so it won't be too horrible on the beach!

LaJa and I (and possible Mum) are going to do it.

Wish me luck!

Funny ecards. Enjoy.

Post 53: Deep Questions

2008-10-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Can you really, truly, honestly forgive someone if you can't forget what they did?

On a lighter note, here's a funny video.

Post 52: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-10-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

Make You Feel My Love by Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet but I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No
There's nothing that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea and on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you to make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

Post 51: MySpace Survey

2008-10-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

What did you do Friday night?
Had a BBQ with the fam

Were you happy when you woke up today?
Sure

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? When and where was it?
Yes; it was in March of this year. We were lying in his bed talking about past relationships and such. I told him I hadn’t kissed anyone in a long time and was afraid I had forgotten how…lol…so he was like “well let’s see” and he kissed me (then we made out for awhile…lol). He said I had nothing to worry about (I guess that was his way of saying I’m a great kisser…lol).

What are you wearing right now?
Fleece pants and a t shirt…it’s laundry day today

Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
Wavy

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Myself

What are you doing tomorrow?
Church, baby shower, not sure after that

Who was your last text from?
Ace

Your relationship status?
Single

Do you like it?
For the most part I'm okay with it but it has it's moments of suckiness

Hook-up or the whole relationship thing?
Relationship, I tried the hook-up thing already

What was the last song you listened to?
Ummm…I think it was Mercy by Duffy

What are you doing this coming weekend?
Next week I’m going to Indy for Tricia’s wedding and I’m coming back on Saturday. Josh is coming home from college for fall break and we’re going to go see Quarentine!

Where did you eat dinner?
Home

Do you watch the Hills?
Sometimes

Wearing any bracelets?
Not right now

Will you hug the last person you hugged again?
Yes, she’s my SL!

Wallpaper on your cell phone?
Emma of course!

What color shirt are you wearing?
Grey or Gray or however you spell it

What do you do on the weekends?
Depends

What was last thing you drank?
Water

What EXACTLY is in your book bag?
Nothing at the moment

What kind of book bag is it?
It was a black Gap across the shoulder bag…kinda like this only all black

Where is your phone?
In front of me on the desk

What color are your eyes?
Hazel but they change colour depending on what I’m wearing

Are you left handed?
Not predominantly but I can be on occasion

When is your birthday?
August 15

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
Nope…I dislike him with every inch of my being and I don’t ever want to see his face again...too bad I've already seen him and his GF (I'm so much cuter than her Mum says) at Walmart (I hate Walmart sometimes).

Do you have a best friend?
Yep

Who was the last person on your bed besides yourself?
Emma takes naps on it when I’m watching her

Who all are you texting?
Nobody

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Closed!

Who's car were you in last other than yours?
Ace’s

Do you smile a lot?
Sure

One thing you're looking forward to?
Going to Indy and seeing my Bestests!

Does the person you like know that you like them?
Yes

Where's your shirt from?
An old soccer tee from when I played in college

What was the last thing to make you laugh?
Emma probably or Laura

Who did you last see in person?
My family last night

What is bugging you right now?
Joblessness

When was your last kiss?
In March…wow that’s depressing

Do you say sexy a lot?
Not in everyday conversation but I say it to my friends a bit

What is something you currently want right now?
A job and Mr. Incredible :)

Post 50: EJ

2008-10-11T09:31:00.001-07:00

The fam came over last night for a BBQ. And of course I had to take photos of my niece AND of course I have to share them!

So here are some new pics of the little lady.

Her flirty over the shoulder look

Rolling over Discussing politics and foreign policy
Laughing (what she does best)

Post 49: 8 Things...

2008-10-10T12:41:00.000-07:00

(Not in any particular order)

8 favorite tv shows:
1. The Office
2. Bizarre Foods
3. Gossip Girl
4. One Tree Hill
5. The Hills
6. What Not To Wear
7. Take Home Chef
8. True Life (on MTV)

8 favorite restaurants:
1. Jerry’s House of Hunan
2. Olive Garden
3. Texas Roadhouse (their rolls are amazing)
4. Fratelli’s
5. O’Charley’s
6. Bob Evan’s (breakfast)
7. Doc Henderson’s
8. Cheesecake Factory

8 things i did yesterday:
1. Took photos
2. Posted on my blog
3. Watched EJ for a few hours
4. Checked emails, facebook, etc
5. Coached Rugby
6. Ate Beef Stew
7. Went to Bible Study
8. Talked about Mr. Incredible with Mum

8 things i love about fall:
1. No more hot weather
2. Leaves changing colour
3. Thanksgiving
4. Closer to Christmas
5. Fall Harvest (we’re surrounded by farms)
6. Sweaters
7. Haunted Corn Maze
8. It’s beautiful

8 things i look forward to:
1. Finding a job eventually
2. Seeing my niece
3. Seeing Boo Bear
4. The Office
5. Rugby
6. Going to Indy to see my Bestests
7. T-Dawg’s Wedding
8. Taking photos of people, places and things

8 things on my wish list:
1. Zoom lens
2. A Job
3. My own place
4. A MacBook Pro
5. A photography studio
6. Money
7. Mr. Incredible will confess his undying love for me
8. Safe trip to Florida this Christmas

Post 48: Website Update

2008-10-10T11:13:00.001-07:00

I just added a few more photos to my Website.

Look under the Album "Babies".

Post 47: Mum Quote & New Information

2008-10-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

As we were driving to town today Mum saw a combine in the field (she loves anything farm related) and said:

"You know there's nothing like seeing a combine in the field. It's like, no matter how bad things get, God is still in control, the combines are in the field and there's hope."

I told her that was the gayest thing I've ever heard her say.

Since we are on the subject of Mum let me share with you this new bit of information I just found out today.

We were driving to Walmart and were talking about Mr. Incredible.

Me: "Everytime I hear his name I smile. I can't control it and I can't stop it. It's like when someone tells you not to smile but no matter how hard you try, you just can't not smile. Ya'know?"

Mum:[smiling] "Yea."

Me: "I think his Mum knows."

Mum:[still smiling] "Jessi, everyone knows. I'm pretty sure He knew before Goatee told him."

Me: "How? I didn't make it obvious did I? I just made the mistake of telling Gossip Girl (a friend of Mums who likes a bit of gossip) and now the whole church knows!"

Mum:[laughing now] "True."

Me: "He probably doesn't even like me and he's scared to hurt me and so he's putting of telling me."

Mum: "No, he likes you. I've known it ever since the wedding."

Me: "What wedding?"

Mum: "N & L's wedding. The one you went to with Mr. Almost Fiance. Daddy-O and I both saw it."

Me: "Saw what?"

Mum: "His face. When he saw you walk into the church with Mr. Almost Fiance. Once he realized the two of you were together his facial expression changed. Like he was upset or disappointed. I told you all this already."

Me: "Uhm, no you didn't."

Mum: "Yes I did."

Me: "Do you really think I'd forget something like that if you had told me?!"

Mum: "Guess not."

Thanks Mum (I guess if she had told me back then I wouldn't of cared. I was just starting my relationship with Mr. Almost Fiance and I only saw Mr. Incredible as a friend then).

Now I'm even more confused. We are both so good at hiding our true feelings. And men are so difficult to read!

And they say women are secretive and hard to figure out?

Bloody hell.

Post 46: Him...

2008-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

This is the post in which I tell you a little bit about Him. Him will now be referred to as, Mr. Incredible.

It suits him.

Mr. Incredible and I met in 7th grade. We went to Middle School together and we attended the same church. We weren’t really “friends” but we knew of each other and talked every now and then. I was going through some rough times (like everyone) in Middle School so I was pretty quiet and negative. We went to High School together, Graduated together, and talked a bit when we were both home for breaks.

I just saw him as a friend all those years, partly because I had a boyfriend in college (that I almost got engaged to!) and was over 3 hours away from home.

That all changed two years ago.

I had transferred colleges and was now about an hour away and so I came home more frequently. He came home a bit as well and so we saw each other on a more regular basis.

Then summer came. A bunch of us were home for the summer and so we hung out pretty much every weekend. It was great.

And I started to notice Mr. Incredible in a different way. He was everything I wasn’t. He made me want to be a better person. I found myself wanting to know more and more about him. I wanted to be with him all the time! He’s good friends with both of my brothers and so he would come over to my house and hang out with Boo Bear and I. Mostly we’d get pizza and a movie or two and just hang out. After the movie(s) were over he’d usually stick around for awhile and watch TV (he loved watching Rugby on TV and so if he was getting ready to leave I’d say “Oh, I bet there’s a Rugby game on!” So I’d find a game and he’d stay longer (smooth I know)).

Then he left.

For China! He decided he wanted to go teach English to college students in China! I was proud of him and happy that he was happy. My feelings for him were still new so I didn’t think anything of them. That was until after he left. As soon as he was gone I realized just how much I really missed him. I thought about him all the time.

Before I move on I must tell you that I’ve never been the type of girl who “Crushes” on guys. All of my past boyfriends have been the pursuers and so for me to pursue a guy is new territory. I’ve just never really been interested in any guy like this before.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way we can move on.

So I missed him for the entire 10 months he was gone and then June came and he was home. I was so excited (he has no idea that I like him at this point. Everyone else knows but him. I’m really good at hiding how I feel about someone. I’m not the giggly, nervous girl around a boy I like. I’m cool, calm and collected…for the most part…actually I’m just really quiet which is normal for me). Then I decided to tell my friend, we will call him Goatee (because he has one) who is really good friends with Mr. Incredible.

Then we went camping. Goatee and Mr. Incredible had a nice little fireside chat after everyone had gone to bed and they talked about life, China, and Me (I gave Goatee permission ahead of time). Goatee said his reaction didn’t determine anything other than the fact that he wasn’t repulsed by the idea of me liking him. So Goatee told me to go for it and tell Mr. Incredible how I really felt.

I did.

But I waited until the night before he left. I wrote Mr. Incredible a letter and put it in his mailbox (I texted him and told him I put a card with some money in it for the airport in his mailbox…he said thanks). In the letter I pretty much poured my heart and soul out to him (not in a scary way, my friends proofread it and said you could tell I was pouring out my heart and soul but not in a way to where he’d freak out).

I’m assuming he got my letter but I haven’t heard from him since that last text. Which is fine, I told him in the letter to take his time and really think about things.

T-Dawg says that him not contacting me right away is a good thing.

I agree.

I know Mr. Incredible well enough to know that he wouldn’t torture me or lead me on and so if it was a definite no he’d tell me ASAP.

So now I wait. And wait. And wait.

I miss him and think about him all the time. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Not about Mr. So Wrong (ex that I broke up with in March), not even about My. Almost Fiancé!

Ugh.

Any thoughts? Comments? Questions? Advice to give?

Post 45: Long Post with many Topics! You'll enjoy it though!

2008-10-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

So I've been wanting to get back into shape recently. Mostly because I coach Rugby and should be in shape (plus I really want to play at the Ohio Rugby Classic as a pick up player) AND because I've noticed a few extra pounds to my body and would like them to be gone.

I took a spinning class a few days a week during the summer with the sister-in-law, LaJa but after my internship ended (therefore a lack of money) and LaJa started teaching again I quite. I had just started to feel better about myself and more energetic when I had to quit and now I'm back to my old lazy days again.

After running today I realized just how out of shape I really am. When I played soccer in college I could quick jog over 5 miles at once. Now I can't even jog 1/4 a mile at once without dying (and my asthma has gotten worse now that I'm more out of shape).

I believe partial blame goes to my boobies. When I played soccer I was a full C. Now I'm a full D, almost a DD. So yea, I was blessed, er, cursed with wonderfully large tatas. Ugh.

Perhaps jogging while in pain from intense lady cramps wasn't the grandest of ideas...

Now I hurt.

I've heard exercise helps lessen the pain of lady cramps. Whoever said that must've been a man.

Moving on...

So I was listening to the music I have on my blog page and realized the DMX song I have is NOT edited. Wow. His lyrics are almost the equivilant to watching a porno. My poor virgin ears...

So I apologize to anyone who was offended by DMX's vulgar, yet poetic lyrics. I will have DMX removed ASAP.

How 'bout a more story about Mum before I leave yea?! Grand!

Mum and I were watching Gilmore Girls today (the episode with Emily and Richards second wedding). I'll refresh your memories of the scene. It involved a bachelorette party and pasta shaped like male genitalia...okay now that we're all up to date lets move on...

(Mum is not shy about sex. In fact her favourite word is Penis and she shouts it aloud whenever she can...I always tell her if you can't say Penis aloud without laughing you shouldn't have sex...she usually comes back with some awkward remark about her and Daddy-O that I'd rather not talk about...moving on...again)

Me:[amazed] "Seriously! They make pasta that looks like boy bits?!!!"

Mum:[giggling] "I guess so! Sweet!"

Me:[still amazed] "I need to find out where they sell them! I want to host a bridal shower at church and make Penis Pasta...with mini meatballs!"

Mum:[still giggling] "Oooh, and little weiners too!"

Me:[still amazed and excited about Penis Pasta with Mini Meatballs and Little Weiners] "And we can make hot dogs and put two little meatballs at one end!"

Mum:[quoting Master of Diguise] "Do you have a little weiner and some tiny nuts!"

Me: "I'm totally gonna make Penis pasta with mini meatballs for church!"

I am not so shy about sexual discussions with Mum either. Although when it gets personal, it gets awkward.

P.S. I swear that kid, Collin Gosselin (John & Kate + 8) looks like a 4 year old version of my ex boyfriend. Creepy.

P.S.S. or P.P.S. If there's something you really want to know about me just ask. I'm pretty much an open book and if you ask me something I'd rather not answer I'll let you know or I'll email the answer. Nothing's off limits. Put it's with this post only so ask quickly!

Post 44: If I had [a lot of] money I'd buy...

2008-10-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

This House

This SUV

This Coat

This Suit

This Lens

This iPod

These UGGs

This MacBook

This For Dinner

Post 43: [Baby] in Red

2008-10-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

Post 42: I...

2008-10-07T21:10:00.001-07:00

I am: 24 years old.

I think: about things too much.

I know: that I need to rely on God more and not so much on myself.

I have: an amazing family and an awesome group of friends that I consider my family.

I wish: I knew His answers to my many questions. (Post about Him coming soon)

I hate: no one. Although I find it very, very hard to not hate rapists, murderers and especially pedophiles.

I miss: my innocence. I only had it for 5 short years and I want it back.

I fear: the dark to the point of hyperventilation if I’m in a room alone with the lights out. This caused me to get a C in Darkroom Photography because I never went to the darkroom and thus got behind. I believe it was because I was locked in a dark closet and molested when I was 5 by an 11 year old boy (I can't believe I just typed that on blogger).

I hear: the little voice of my niece "talking" and laughing and my heart melts.

I smell: burning leaves when I get a migraine. Because of that whenever I smell burning leaves I almost always get a headache.

I crave: something more for my life. I need an adventure or something.

I search: Google for everything. I took Dane Cook’s words to heart when he said to “Google that S***!”

I wonder: what it’s like to be totally, completely, comfortably in love with somebody.

I regret: nothing that I’ve done. I believe everything happens for a reason.

I love: my life, my God, my family and my friends more than myself.

I ache: in my heart when I think mean thoughts about somebody. Even a complete stranger.

I am not: worthy of the title "Role Model", at least I don’t think I am. I wish I were but I’m not. But maybe that’s what makes me a good role model, the fact that I am honest and open to younger girls about the mistakes I’ve made, that I am so transparent about my past.

I believe: in God but I question everything. I think it is okay to question though, it forces you to grow. Just like in school, the more you ask the more you learn.

I dance: dirty, I don’t know why but I can’t dance proper. Every time I try and dance my friends say I look like a stripper or something.

I sing: loudly in the car when I’m alone. I use gestures and I hit the steering wheel (think Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire)

I cry: rarely. But when I look at my niece and see how beautiful and perfect she is I’m forced to wipe tears of joy and amazement from my cheeks.

I fight: back my emotions all the time. If I had a dollar for every moment I wanted to tell Him how I felt, I could buy a new camera lens.

I win: at Bull S*** (the card game). “It’s all about reading people.”

I lose: my concentration easily thanks to ADD.

I never: felt more brave and accomplished than I did when I wrote a letter to Him explaining how I felt.

I always: trip on things, stub my toes, hurt myself, etc. And I bruise really easily.

I confuse: a lot of people with my sarcasm and wit. They think I’m serious when I’m not. Usually when I’m going to be serious I’ll warn you by saying “Hey guys, I’m gonna be serious for a minute…”

I listen: to gangster rap. I’m a white girl who loves gangster rap. I want to jump DMX whenever I hear his voice. It’s so raspy and sexy. MmMmMm.

I can usually be found: at the computer, behind my camera or in my car singing along with DMX trying to find our Hood.

I am scared: the answers I get from Him will be the answers I don’t want.

I need: to find a job. I’m going crazy.

I am happy about: my life.

I imagine: what it would be like to pack up my belongings and move to Chicago or Europe. Then I realize that I’d miss my family and friends too much, become depressed and end up moving back home. But home is where the heart is and my heart is where my family and friends are.

Post 41: Lindsay Lohan

2008-10-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who didn't know Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian?

I mean I knew she was hanging out with that Sam girl who is a lesbian but I just thought they were friends.

Gosh I'm dumb sometimes. I usually have amazing gay-dar but this one left me blindsided.

For real.

Post 40: Car Magnets

2008-10-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

My car magnets arrived!

I made car magnets that look like giant business cards for my car.

Hopefully they will get my name out there more.

Post 39: Selling his body & Yearbook Yourself

2008-10-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

I texted Boo Bear last night and told him Quarentine was coming out this Friday.

BB: Sweet are you gonna come get me so we can watch it? :)

Me: what do you mean come and get you?

BB: drive here and pick me up and take me to see it

Me: OR you and a bunch of your friends could meet me and my friends at The Rave

BB: I'll have to see

Me: I can't afford to drive all the way to MVNU to get you and then all the way to C-Bus. I have to go to Indy on Tues for T-Dawg's wedding.

BB: Oh Ok

Me: If you help me out with gas money I can come and get you. Can you spare 25 bucks?

BB: No

Me: Don't you have like 3000 saved?

BB: Yea but I need that for loans and books and what not

Me: Well if you want to pay off loans you'll need a lot more than 3000

BB: Ya ill just sell drugs or my body or something

Me: I'd stick with drugs. Your body won't get you very far.

BB: Thats what you think sis. I dont know if you know this but im kind of a big deal lol

Me: if that's what you have to tell yourself to stay motivated go for it. balls out baby.

BB: that's what the ladies tell me

Me: aaaaahaha. nice.

I found this site called http://www.yearbookyourself.com/.

1952

1966

1968

1976

1978

1984

Post 38: Go Columbus!

2008-10-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

Today on MSN I read an article called "Best Cities for Singles". Columbus was voted #21.

If you're looking to find a mate wouldn't living in a city that is "great for singles" be bad?

RANKINGS (out of 40 - the lower the number the higher the ranking out of the 40 cities)
Singles - 17
Nightlife - 28
Coolness - 35
Culture - 22
Job Growth - 21
Online Dating - 14
Cost Of Living Alone - 5

Population: 4,051,019 / Percent Not Married: 26.8%

Maybe I should move to the city!

Post 37: Survey Time!

2008-10-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Is smoking one of your turn offs?
YES, EVEN THOUGH I USED TO.

Do you like the song 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry?
HAHA, YES I DO. I THINK IT’S FUNNY.

Do you listen to your friend's advice when they give it to you?
YES. THEY GIVE AMAZING ADVICE.

What's the last kind of soup you ate?
BIG BROTHER MADE POTATO CORN CHOWDER LAST NIGHT AND HE, LAJA AND EJ CAME OVER FOR DINNER.

Does it gross you out when girls don't shave their legs/armpits?
A LITTLE. WHEN YOU CAN SEE IT FROM AFAR IT’S REALLY GROSS. SECOND DAY STUBBLE IS FINE.

What's so great about the Jonas Brothers?
I HAVE NO IDEA.

Do you like the rain?
NOPE.

Do you currently have a sunburn?
NOPE.

Could you eat nothing but grilled cheese for a week straight?
SURE.

Who's your favorite country singer?
SUGARLAND OR MIRANDA LAMBERT. IT’S A TIE.

What color was the last drink you consumed?
WHITE.

Have your parents told you that you couldn't hang out with a certain person?
MUM TRIED TO TELL ME NOT TO HANG OUT WITH/DATE MR. SO WRONG (MY LAST BOYFRIEND). I DIDN’T LISTEN TO HER AND GOT SCREWED. I HATE IT WHEN MY MUM IS RIGHT.

Would you rather shave your head or dye your hair bright orange?
UMMM…ORANGE I GUESS.

Could you last an hour without talking?
YES. I HAVE. MANY TIMES.

Are more of your friends’ parents divorced or still married?
I THINK IT’S EQUAL.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
NOT REALLY BECAUSE IT WAS ANOTHER JOBLESS MONDAY FOR ME.

What are you listening to right now?
THE TV. DADDY-0 IS WATCHING BIZARRE FOODS.

Would your parents be mad if you got pregnant?
YES. I ASKED MY MUM THE OTHER DAY WHAT SHE’D DO TO ME IF I TOLD HER I WAS PREGNANT.

SHE SAID SHE’D WAIT UNTIL THE BABY WAS BORN AND THEN BEAT THE STUPID OUTTA ME.

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
YES.

When was the last time you cried?
A LONG TIME. I RARELY CRY. ALTHOUGH MY NIECE MAKES ME TEAR UP SOMETIMES.
BECAUSE SHE’S SO AMAZING AND PERFECT.

Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hated?
HAHA…YES. HIS NAME WAS MR. SO WRONG.

Have any interesting conversations lately?
MOST OF MY CONVERSATIONS ARE INTERESTING. LIKE JUST A LITTLE WHILE AGO I WAS TALKING TO THE ‘RENTS ABOUT HOW I DIDN’T LIKE BRUSSEL SPROUTS.
OH YES. RIVETING.

Who is the last person you shared a bed with?
UMMM…BOY OR GIRL? BOY: MR. SO WRONG; GIRL: UMMM…BABE I THINK OR EJ.

Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
DGP.

How do you feel right now?
BORED. FRUSTRATED. CRAMPY (THE JOYS OF WOMANHOOD).

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
YESTERDAY MAYBE.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive?
DEPENDS ON WHAT NEEDS FORGIVING. IT TOOK ME 19 YEARS TO FORGIVE THE JERK FROM MY CHILDHOOD WHO STOLE MY INNOCENCE.

Anything you're looking forward to?
HEARING BACK FROM THE THREE PLACES I APPLIED TO.

Have you ever punched a guy?
DO BROTHERS COUNT?

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
IDK. IF IT’S THE RELATIONSHIP I WANT THEN IT’LL BE A LONG, LONG DISTANCE ONE.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
NOT TATTOOS. I HAVE THREE. THAT’S GOOD FOR NOW. BUT I REALLY WANT A LITTLE RHINESTONE IN MY NOSE. BUT I HAVE NO MONEY. AND I’M NOT SURE HOW PROFESSIONAL IT LOOKS.

Do you have trust issues?
YEP. SEE MY ANSWER TO THE FORGIVENESS QUESTION FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

Are you open with your feelings to people?
NOT REALLY. I’M A PRETTY PRIVATE PERSON. ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT ARE REALLY, REALLY CLOSE TO ME KNOW ME. THEY CAN USUALLY GUESS HOW I’M FEELING.

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to in person?
NO. I HONESTLY DON’T HATE ANYONE.

What is your current annoyance?
JOBLESSNESS AND LACK OF INCOME.

Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side?
EWWW…KETCHUP’S GROSS.

Do you want to get married?
VERY MUCH SO.

Last person you blocked on MySpace?
NOBODY BUT I DID DELETE MR. SO WRONG.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
TOO MANY.

Last person who texted you?
DADDY-O.

Have you ever cried while in the shower?
YES. IF I NEED TO CRY THAT’S THE PLACE I’LL DO IT.

Do you believe in true love?
YES.

When was the last time you were disappointed?
HMMM…I DON’T REMEMBER. IT WAS PROBABLY IN MYSELF THOUGH.

What kind of pants are you wearing right now?
WHITE SOCCER SHORTS.

Post 36: Cash, Cash, Cash

2008-10-06T16:40:00.000-07:00

Mum:[looking in her wallet] "WOW! why do I have so much cash in my wallet?!"

Me:[with much sarcasm in my voice] "cash is the usual form of payment in your profession."

Jessi 3 - Mum 0

Post 35: Fun Photo Survey

2008-10-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

I stole this from Mandy

What’s your name?

When is your birthday?

What kind of car do you drive?

Where did you go to school?

Who is your good friend?

What is your favorite color?

Who is your celebrity crush?

What is your favorite song?

What is your favorite movie?

Who is your favorite Disney princess?

What is your ideal vacation destination?

What is your favorite dessert?

What is your favorite letter?

What is your favorite number?

What are you most afraid of?

What did you want to be when you grow up?

Favorite time of day?

What do you love most in life?

What is your favorite accessory?

What is one word to describe yourself?

Post 34: Another Jobless Monday

2008-10-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

I made a poll, it's located at the bottom of my page on the right hand side. Vote!

I haven't heard back from the two places I applied to yet. I wasn't expecting to today since I sent them on Friday afternoon.

I applied to another place today. It's a work-from-home job. It'd be perfect if I got that job. No commute = more money to save = the sooner I can move out!

I really don't mind living with the 'rents. They give me space (for the most part) and since I've moved downstairs I have much more "freedom". It's just that I'm 24 and really need to live on my own. I'm an independent person and so depending on them for shelter/food/etc is killing me.

Plus I don't want to go from living/depending on my parents to living with a husband. I think I really need that taste of independence first. That's just who I am.

However, I don't know if I'd want to live completely alone. I think I'd get too bored. I wish I had close friends nearby that weren't married (my single friends live in other states or with other people or are at home still).

Oh well. I'll try not too think about it too much.

I went shoe shopping last night and was successful. I was looking for open-toed shoes but they didn't really have any I liked or that fit (finding size 10 or 11 shoes is tough). So I pix messaged T-Dawg (the bride) and asked her if close toed shoes would work. She said they would. I got these two pairs. I figured I could wear them with pants too. (they were BOGO 1/2 off at Payless):

I hope they look okay with my dress. I haven't worn my dress since I tried it on at David's Bridal. This is what it looks like though except ours are in Chocolate brown, not yellow (sorry about the small pic):

So anyways. I'm excited to spend a few days with T-Dawg before her wedding. And I get to see K-Ten as well. It's going to be great. Just what I need (I'm getting cabin-fever).

I'll leave you with another video of EJ.

Post 33: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-10-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

How Will I Know by Whitney Houston

How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heartbeat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you, what you know about these things
How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong, why do I feel weak

Oh, wake me, I'm shaking
Wish I had you near me now
Said, there's no mistaking
What I feel is really love

Oh I miss Him so. Why China?! Why couldn't he have picked someplace in the US!

Post 32: Because I'm proud of my work

2008-10-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm launching a line of Holiday/Christmas photo greeting cards. In hopes to make a little Christmas money and because I love design and being creative.

Here's the link to check them out:

Photo Cards by just a girl & her Nikon.

Let me know what you think.

Oh and if you'd like to order some let me know!

Post 31: New Shoes

2008-10-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

I went to DSW tonight to get shoes for T-Dawg's wedding. But they don't have any dressy, brown, open-toed shoes so I'll try Payless later.

Anyways, I did find a pair of shoes. I couldn't afford them so I told Mum to buy them for me for Christmas and I'd promise I'd forget about them.

Which I probably will forget because I forget things very easily.

But I love them (I'm addicted to PUMA's) so I thought I'd share them with you.

Here they are:

They're awesome yea?

I thought so. I'm excited for Christmas. I'll have a new pair of PUMA's to wear in Florida.

Post 30: EJ in the tub

2008-10-04T12:46:00.001-07:00

Most of you will find this video dreadfully boring.

I think it's adorable.

Post 29: Anthroplogie you owe me an apology

2008-10-04T11:20:00.001-07:00

I have fallen in love with Anthropologie.

I love it. The colours, the patterns, the, the...EVERYTHING.

Anthropology you owe me an apology for drawing me into your store and seducing me with your beautiful things and then murdering me with your outragious prices.

How dare you!

Why must I fall in love with expensive things? I naturally gravitate towards an item and then I look at the pricetag and it's always the most expensive item.

It's not like I go around looking for the most expensive item. I'll even go to non-expensive stores and still find that one item that is not inexpensive.

Ugh.

I applied for a job as a Graphic Designer. I doubt I'll get the job much less an interview. But I'm throwing myself out there.

What's the worst that could happen?

Post 28: Miss New Boot[ies]

2008-10-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Mum found a pair of booties that my Auntie Lisa made for Boo Bear when he was a baby.

She gave them to Big Brother and LaJa for EJ to wear since it's getting quite cold out now. She wore them tonight while we had a bonfire.

My Auntie Lisa lives in Tasmania and so I haven't seen her since I was about 7 (which was when we moved back to the states).

And since I'm a proud aunt to the most adorable little girl on the planet, I feel it necessary to brag a little bit more about her cuteness.

So here are a few more photos that show off Little Miss Adorable (or Dumpling as her daddy calls her).

Showing me her toy

"wigga wigga what!"

Lil Punkin' Head

Post 27: A Job, a Funny Newspaper Ad & Beef Stew

2008-10-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

I applied for a job today via email. It's for an Office Assistant in Raymond which is about 10 minutes from my house. Which is good! A short commute!

Wish me luck that my resume dazzles them!

On a funnier note, I just saw this ad in the newspaper and had to share it.

I'm making Beef Stew and Bikkie's for dinner. Mmm...the house smells amazing.

I love autumn.

Post 26: Lame Day & EJ's Blog Debut

2008-10-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

Nothing too eventful happened today. I just vegged at home. Still not feeling so great so I just rested and took a nice hot bath.

Rugby practice was windy and cold.

But I'm not complaining. I'd rather freeze than melt.

I leave you with a video (a little blurry I apologize) of my oh-so adorable niece, EJ (she's also the beautiful baby that graces my blog header - i took the photo).

I was conducting an interview on what it was like sitting in a carseat backwards in a car. She did quite well with answering my questions until she got the hiccups (the two people you hear talking besides EJ are Big Brother and LaJa - EJ's mum and dad).

So without further adeu, here is EJ in her first public interview:

Post 25: Boo Bears shoulder & Mum's Brilliant Idea

2008-10-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

Today Mum got a call from Boo Bear. He was in the hospital in Mount Vernon. The reason. He decided to turn his back on dear old Rugby for a bit and play some football (I know I hate football too!). He has a seperated shoulder. Sounds bloody painful if you ask me.

I hope he's learned his lesson to leave football to the American pansey boys and stick with a real tough sport. RUGBY.

On a lighter note. The other day as Mum and I were driving home from our date in Dublin I was telling her about my friends on 20SB and all the funny stories they share. She then came up with a "brilliant idea for a television show!".

It would be sortof like Sex and the City (where she narrates with her blog at the end of the episode and her episode is about that blog) except it'd be about a girl who is a part of a blogging community (like 20SB), her life as well as the lives of her blogging friends.

A typical episode would start with the girl sitting at her computer reading a person's blog except instead of the camera staying with her as she's reading it would turn it's attention to the person in the blog she's reading and you'd get to see the blog post played out.

Can you picture what I'm trying to say?

Anyways, Mum was quite excited about this idea. She went on to talk about how you could have "bloggers from all over the world so you'd get to experience other culture's humour and dialogue and such".

Oh and by the way, I told Mum about your hilarious blog girl with the mask. She thinks you and your parents quite bloody hilarious as well.

Post 24: Those poor movies

2008-10-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

I texted Boo Bear last night and asked him to list off the top 5 best comedy movies of all time.

This is what he texted me:

"thats too hard im not doing that i dont want to make good movies feel bad when they dont make the list"

I love my baby brother.

Post 23: "You're so picky Jessi"

2008-09-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

A few people have told me I'm too picky when it comes to men.

I agree.

I just tell them I know I deserve the best and I won't settle for anything less. Usually I get those looks as if they were saying, oh so you're better than all of us now eh? or they'll just say "well good for you" and walk off.

While I don't necessarily agree that I'm better than any of them, I do however, know that I have a lot of respect for myself.

And so I tell them finding a potential boyfriend (and eventually husband) is like buying cable.

Allow me to explain.

There are three different types of cable.

Basic Cable
Premium Cable
Deluxe Cable

With Basic Cable you have a 50/50 ratio. You get 50% of the channels you want and 50% of the channels you don't want. And while you're happy with basic cable for awhile, you find yourself missing your favourite channels (for me those favourite channels are: The Food Network, VH1 and TLC) and hating the channels you're forced to pay for but don't want, at all (my examples are: Sports Center, The Disney Channel, and LOGO).

After you get bored/fed up with Basic Cable you decide to break up with him and then you meet Premium Cable.

Now Premium Cable is much better than Basic Cable. With Premium Cable you get 75% of the channels you love. You love being able to watch Ace of Cakes on The Food Network, Music Videos on VH1 and What Not To Wear on TLC, as well as your other favourite channels. However, after you get those first few bills you realize you are paying for the 25% of the channels you don't watch and you decide you hate having to pay for Sports Center, LOGO and The Disney Channel.

So you decide to break up with Premium Cable and take a short break before shopping around for Cable again.

Then you meet Deluxe Cable. Deluxe Cable appears out of nowhere, it's like Deluxe Cable waited until you weren't looking before he swept you off your feet with his Deluxe-icousness.

Deluxe Cable is the best of the best. It's like you got to choose what channels you wanted and you could omit the ones you didn't want. You get The Food Network, TLC, VH1 & MTV, HGTV, and that station that plays all of the old shows you watched growing up. Deluxe Cable has 95% of all the channels you love and only 5% of the channels you don't (for example, Sports Center) but you don't care because you have everything else you've ever wanted.

And while you had to wait a little while for Deluxe Cable to come along and yea maybe you had to pay a little bit more for it, in the end it's 10000000000% worth it.

I've dated Basic Cable and I've dated Premium Cable (more than once) and after breaking up with both of them, I'm more than happy to wait for my Mr. Deluxe Cable.

Post 22: Sickness = Suckiness

2008-09-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

I sit here at the computer typing in my money pajama pants (the same ones Ben Stone wears in Knocked Up...haha) and thermal shirt. I haven't showered or even brushed my hair yet today. My body hurts, my head feels swollen and I feel like I'm trying to breathe but the room is full of Jell-O. Blah...

Yes, I am sick. Ugh, I used to only get sick once a year and it was always in January. It's not even October and I'm already sick. I tried to sleep last night without taking any cold medicine (I hate taking medicine) but I was so miserable I caved in. So I took some Alka-Seltzer Cold medicine. Let me just tell you it is the most amazing stuff out there. I took two nighttime gelcaps and within 20 minutes I was out.

Have you ever slept so hard at night that you don't move at all and when you wake up your body hurts from staying in the same position for hours?

That was me last night.

It's a good thing I don't have a job at the moment because I had my alarm set but I didn't even hear it go off. I ended up sleeping until 11:30am. I woke up but didn't get out of bed until noon because I was so out of it still.

Next time I'll have to remember to take the cold medicine before 1am if I want to have a life the next day.

After I finally freed myself from my lovely bed I popped two more pills, the daytime Alka-Seltzer cold medicine and now I'm feeling just lovely.

Well as lovely as one can feel with a bad cold.

I have to coach in an hour and a half. I hope these meds stay in my system until then.

Post 21: Mum & the El Camino

2008-09-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

While we were leaving Whole Foods tonight Mum starts talking about how she saw an El Camino for sale,
"remember when we were coming back from MVNU a few weeks ago?" Mum asks.
"Yea", I reply with a hint of disgust in my voice, I don't like El Caminos, "why?".
Growing more excited Mum continues, "well I saw an El Camino for sale on the side of the road!".
I turn to look at her as she walks to the car, "ugh! why would you want an El Camino?!" I say with even more disgust in my voice.
"Because they're sweet!", she replies.
"No they are not sweet. El Caminos are dirty and skanky and cheap looking" I pause, "wait a tick, I guess an El Camino is the perfect car for you then!"

Jessi 2 - Mum 0

Post 20: The Best of Both Worlds?

2008-09-29T12:00:00.001-07:00

In a conversation that took place about 3 weeks ago.

Babe:[talking to me about Katy Perry's song] "so have you ever kissed a girl and liked it?"

Me: "No, I'm not gay or bi"

Babe: "Duh I know that, but would you?"

Me: "I don't know, I'd probably have to be really drunk" [laughs] "why have you ever kissed a girl and liked it?"

Babe: "No" [thinking] "but wouldn't being bi be like that one song by that one girl, the best of both worlds" [laughs]

Me: "sure i guess if you want to be a part of two worlds, but i enjoy having the very best of one world, rather than just the best of two worlds" [laughs]

Babe: [laughing] "trudat baby"

Post 19: Yet another layout change

2008-09-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

I think there's something wrong with me. This is the millionth time I've changed my blog layout in the past week.

I don't know why I do it. I'll change my layout and think, "wow, i really like this layout". Then I'll log on the next day and think, "ugh, i hate this layout. i need to change it asap."

I blame it on my ADD. Or maybe I just get bored really easily. Or perhaps it's both. Who knows.

Post 18: 105 Things About Me

2008-09-29T08:13:00.000-07:00

1. I was born on August 15. It was a Wednesday night.
2. I have never been patient; I was almost born at the entrance of the hospital.
3. When I was born I wasn’t breathing and it took the doctors awhile to get me to breathe.
4. I was 10 pounds at birth and looked like an Indian baby (dark skin, jet black hair and dark eyes).
5. I was born in Syracuse, NY but I’ve lived in Wooster, OH; Melbourne, Australia (where my dad was born and raised) and Penn Yan, NY.
6. I currently live outside Columbus, OH and have lived here for the past 11 years.
7. I probably won’t ever move again.
8. I am in the middle of two boys; my mum used to tell me I was the cream in an Oreo.
9. I’m glad I was the only girl in my family growing up.
10. I have a slight stutter.
11. I rarely get embarrassed but when I do my ears turn bright red.
12. My best friend is my little brother. He’s 18.
13. I think Gerard Butler is hot. Especially in 300. He made me want to become a Spartan woman.
14. I’m really good at mimicking accents; however the only accent I can’t mimic is the Australian accent.
15. Which is really weird because A. I used to have an Australian accent, and B. My dad still has an Australian accent.
16. I lost my virginity to a cute boy in the woods near a baseball park. Classy I know.
17. I was way too young.
18. I’ve been in two car accidents.
19. Neither was my fault.
20. The first one happened when a guy (who was driving a mere 2 blocks to buy cigarettes might I add) ran a stop sign.
21. The second was when a lady pulled out in front of me (she claimed she couldn’t see my car, even though it was a summer afternoon and I was in a bright red car). I broke her axel which caused her back wheels to fly off. Ha-ha, take that witch.
22. I hate ketchup and peanut butter. Yet I love Vegemite and Nutella – I guess I’m more Australian than American.
23. I have a cowlick on the back of my head which causes my hair to poof up when I wear it down, no amount of straightening it helps.
24. I once got alcohol poisoning after drinking waaay to much vodka at a college party. I then passed out and ended up vomiting in a litter box.
25. Nearly 3 years later the smell of vodka still makes me gag and throw up.
26. Ask me about the story sometime. It's quite funn.y
27. I'm a cheap drunk. It takes only a couple of beers or a few shots to get me drunk.
28. I’m known as the Movie Quoting Queen. I could probably talk all day using only movie quotes.
29. I know a lot of useless knowledge, mostly about pop culture.
30. I’m extremely sarcastic and witty. Think Juno without all the high school slang.
31. I played soccer for two years in college and I miss it terribly.
32. I coach a high school girl’s rugby team.
33. The team was started my junior year of high school by some of my friends and myself.
34. I think it’s awesome that I’m coaching it now.
35. I still live at home because I can’t afford to live by myself.
36. I really need to move out and be on my own.
37. I’m a photographer.
38. I want to start a photography magazine one day.
39. I also want to open up a coffee shop/bakery/art gallery too.
40. I’m saving up to buy my dream computer.
41. A Mac Book Pro.
42. I have ADD.
43. I was diagnosed my senior year of high school.
44. I was finally put on Adderall after 3 failed attempts at other medication.
45. It didn’t really work so I stopped taking it.
46. I still have a full bottle of Adderall.
47. I’m tempted to sell it.
48. But knowing me, I’d get caught.
49. I’m really clumsy and have really bad hand-eye coordination.
50. I’m much better with my feet.
51. I drive a red 2002 Ford Escape. I think it’s adorable and I love driving it.
52. I am neither optimistic nor pessimistic.
53. I see myself as a realist but I’m often mistaken for a pessimist.
54. This is funny because I’m happy 95% of the time.
55. I love making out.
56. I have three tattoos.
57. I think Dane Cook is hilarious.
58. But only in his stand-up routine.
59. I saw Good Luck Chuck and didn’t find him very funny.
60. I really want to see how he is in My Best Friends Girl.
61. Young girls that I know look up to me as a role model.
62. It is a title that I’m honoured to have, but don’t think I deserve.
63. I tell them to not do things but then I go out and do them.
64. It makes me feel guilty sometimes.
65. Bob Evans makes the best pancakes.
66. My favourite restaurant is a local Chinese restaurant in my hometown.
67. My favourite drink is Chocolate Milk.
68. My favourite alcoholic drink is Amaretto Sours (from Olive Garden).
69. I love watching and going to the movies (Cinematic Adventures).
70. I love writing but I hate reading.
71. I want to write a screenplay and see my movie on the big screen.
72. I bite my nails religiously.
73. I’ve tried to quite many times but gave up because I was sick of failing.
74. I think I’m really smart but I’ve always struggled in school.
75. School makes me feel stupid.
76. I thought about suicide at one point in my life. If it hadn’t been for the love of my family I would’ve jumped.
77. I want to cry whenever I hear about someone committing suicide because I know how it feels to have no hope but I was blessed with the love and support of my family, which is something not many people have.
78. My friends call me the seatbelt Nazi. I won’t drive the car unless everyone is buckled in.
79. I had to watch a video in drivers ed showing what happens to you if you don’t wear your seatbelt and you crash.
80. It was extremely graphic and disturbing.
81. I have no tolerance for people who drink and drive.
82. Or people who do dirty things to children.
83. I was one of those children.
84. My favourite fruit is a tie between pineapple and cherries.
85. I miss red hots (Australian hot dogs), meat pies and my Grandma F’s desserts.
86. I love drinking hot tea and eating fruitcake.
87. My favourite Holiday is Christmas.
88. I really want a dachshund. A female, red smooth coat one.
89. I have the most beautiful niece in the world.
90. I am one of the only single/childless 20-something females in my group of friends.
91. I’m okay with it.
92. I think.
93. My best friend, T-Dawg is marrying her soul mate.
94. I witnessed her going from one bad boyfriend to another, from one bad relationship to another.
95. I can honestly say I cried when she told me about her boy.
96. I was so happy she finally found someone that was good enough for her.
97. I’m a bridesmaid in her wedding.
98. It’ll be my second time as a bridesmaid.
99. I hope I get married before I’m a bridesmaid again for fear of being cursed.
100. My niece is the love of my life.
101. I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs. I love them because at times it's nice having slightly-larger-than-normal boobs. However running is not so fun. I fear one day they'll smack me in my face and leave me unconscious (sp?).
102. My mum has no idea where I got them. Every woman in my family is average/below average. Lucky me. Ugh.
103. I hate closing my eyes in the shower. I have this weird fear that when I open them someone will be standing there. This has resulted in many gallons of shampoo ending up in my eyes.
104. I love Pantene Pro-V Ice Shine shampoo and conditioner. I used K-Ten's a few times when we shared a bathroom in college and fell in love with it.
105. I enjoy watching One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl.

Post 17: Song Lyric Sunday

2008-09-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

Where my girls at? by 702

Where my girls at
From the front to back
Well, is you feelin' that?
Put one hand up
Can you repeat that?
Tryin' to take my man see I don't need that
So don't play yourself

Being 3 hours away from my ladies is killing me softly. Ugh I can't wait until Oct 14th when I can get away from M-ville and go to Indy and see them!

Post 16: Sweet Potatos & Oatmeal

2008-09-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

My niece EJ (or Mini-LJ) eating Sweet Potatos and Oatmeal. Mmmm.

Post 15: Boo Bears manhood

2008-09-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

A snippet of a conversation we had tonight (about annoying red-necks who have big, loud cars and motorbikes and how they drive them at 9pm) while BB and LJ were opening their presents.

Me: "So you're saying you'd never buy a big truck or a loud motorcycle then?"

Boo Bear: "Nope I don't need a big truck or a loud bike to prove my manliness. The proof is in my pants."

Lovely.

P.S. The Old Bag was amazing. I had fried pickles. Fish & chips and an ice cold Corona. Lovely.

One of Boo Bears senior photos done by D.G.P.

Post 14: Fish, Chips & Beer

2008-09-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight we are celebrating Big Brother and LaJa's birthdays. We're going to a little pub called The Old Bag of Nails. I'm getting fish & chips and beer baby! I'm so excited! They have the most amazing fish & chips, so good.

Happy 27th Birthday to Big Brother & Happy 26th Birthday to LaJa!

Post 13: WTF Mum!?

2008-09-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

Girl:[to my mum] "No I don't know where I'll be getting my senior photos done. The place we were gonna go to was really expensive."

Mum:[to girl] "oh, I know of a great person to take your photos. Her name is D.G., she's a friend of mine. She took the team pics last year."

Me:[standing with a look of shock on my face] "Are you serious!" [throws arms out as if to say "WTF!"]

Mum: [stares at me for a split second] "oh, right."

WTF Mum! At least I'll know never to hire you for promoting my business.

Post 12: Clay Aiken

2008-09-26T08:43:00.001-07:00

Did you know Clay Aiken is gay?

I had no idea. I feel blind-sided.

Dear Mr. Aiken,
I would just like to say thank you, I’m glad you finally got up the courage to come out of that closet. Phew. I can stop taking Lunesta now and get a good, normal nights sleep.

Thank you again for everything.

-j.

Seriously, is it really that difficult to "come out" nowawdays? I always thought Homosexuality was embraced in Hollywood.

Post 11: High School

2008-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

Did you marry someone from your high school? No but I’m not married yet so who knows. I did date someone from high school 5 years after we graduated (I was the quiet girl in high school and he was the wild, party boy in high school)…it didn’t last.

Did you carpool? Nope

What kind of car did you have? 1995 Red Toyota Tercel.

What kind of car do you have now? 2002 Red Ford Escape…it's really cute

It’s Friday night…where are you? Probably in Dublin at the movies or just out

Now It’s Friday night…where are you? The same

What kind of job did you have in high school? I was a waitress at Jerry’s, the local Chinese restuarant

What do you do now? I’m a photographer

Were you a party animal? NoWere you considered a flirt? No

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? I wasn’t that kind of a nerd

Can you sing the fight song? “Go Big Blue…” I can’t remember the rest.

Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mrs. Jack

Where did you sit during lunch? At a table. Mostly with athletes

What was your school’s full name? Marysville High School

When did you graduate? 2003

What was your school mascot? A monarch (lion)

If you could go back and do it again, would you? I used to say no but I think if I were to go back with the confidence I have now, I think I would’ve loved high school

What do you remember most about graduation? The giant monsoon that drenched us and peeling out of the driveway knowing I’d never have to go back!

Who did you take to the senior prom? I didn’t go to senior prom, I went my junior year

Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? N/A

Are you planning on going to your 50 year reunion? Probably

Do you still see people from school? Yes, around here going to the local Walmart is like going to a reunion. Kinda awkward and annoying.

Post 10: Some of my favourite photos of my friends and me

2008-09-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

2005-2006

K-Ten trying to get a suntan while we were stuck in traffic for two hours

Not sure what I'm doing here

K-Ten had a mini modelling shoot on our way to NY

Me and T-Dawg in the Summer of 2005

T-Dawg & K-Ten on our way to another boring class

Adorable K-Ten

2007-2008

I took this photo of K-Ten right after she grabbed her boobs (don't remember why she grabbed them to begin with but she started laughing and i snapped the picture)

Pretty T-Dawg in her new apartment in Indy!

K-Ten being K-Ten

(L-R) Me, J-Long, & T-Dawg

T-Dawg

J-Long & T-Dawg in downtown Indy

K-Ten trying to fly

Twirling T-Dawg...cool pic eh? I took it!

Me & T-Dawg

K-Ten

Me & T-Dawg again

Post 9: Living with a 5 year old. AKA: K-Ten

2008-09-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

This story happened in November of 2005. I had just returned from an 8am class and wanted to take a nap before my next class at 10:15am. This is what happened:

I am almost asleep in my bed. Warm and cozy underneath my blankets.

K-Ten: [bursts out of bathroom] “J! J! J! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

Me: [grumbling] “what! I’m trying to take a nap before my next class!”

K-Ten: [jumps onto my bed and thus on top of me.]“But what about McDonald’s breakfast! Remember? You promised!”

I had forgotten that I had promised K-Ten that I’d take her out for McDonald’s breakfast today. The last time we went it had already ended.

I roll onto my back and see K-Ten with a huge smile on her face and eagerness in her eyes. Similar to a child begging their mum for sweets at the grocery store.

Me: “B-b-but [I stutter] I only have 45 minutes until my next class [pointing to the clock] and I was up late last night writing a paper.”

K-Ten: [With disappointment in her eyes and her smile slowly fading] “Oh, okay.”

I’m on to her; she’s trying to make me feel guilty. I swear I won’t fall for it again. She hops down off my bed and I roll back over onto my stomach and proceed to fall asleep. I now only had 40 minutes to sleep. Ugh I hate class. Not a minute later I hear her jumping on her bed as if she were 5.

K-Ten: [while jumping on her bed] “I want McDonald’s breakfast! I want McDonald’s breakfast! Please J take me to McDonald’s! PLEASE!!!!!!”

Me: [still under my blankets] “NO!”

I hear flop down onto her bed. I hear her start yelling. I look up and see her face down on her bed kicking her legs and waving her arms and shouting “I WANT MCDONALD’S BREAKFAST!” Unbelievable I think to myself.

Me: [staring at her in annoyance and disbelief] “What the hell!? Are you seriously throwing a tantrum? You’re acting like a bloody five year old!”

K-Ten: [stops tantrum and stares at me with a childish grin on her face] “yes I am because you broke a promise and I’m upset.”

Me: [grumbling] “I s’pose you’re not gonna stop until I take you are you?”

K-Ten moves her head slowly from side to side while holding back a smile of accomplishment.

Me: [getting out of bed and grumbing] “bloody hell K-Ten. I feel like your mother and you’re my demon spawn.”

K-Ten: [runs over and hugs me] “Thank you mummy! I wuv you!”

Me: “I hate you”

K-Ten: [grabs my hand and pulls me outside into the cold air] “no you don’t. you loooooove me!”

We walk down the hill to my car and I take her to McDonald’s for breakfast five minutes before it ends.

We grab our food and head back to campus. She skips up the hill and all the way to our quad. I’m such a push-over. I look at the clock. Time for class. Bloody hell.

The lovely K-Ten making one of her lovely faces.

Post 8: Ongoing Battle

2008-09-23T10:08:00.000-07:00

Mum: [while laughing] “hey Jessi, did you know you’ve been in college for over 5 years!”

Me: [with a serious look on my face and sarcasm in my voice] “hey did you know you were once in college but got pregnant at 18 and had to drop out after a year!”

Mum shoots me a look as if to say “okay, you’re right. you got me on that one.” or “praise the Lord you didn’t take after me! stay in college as long as you need to!”

Jessi 1 - Mum 0

Mum likes to point out the fact that I’m 24 and still an undergrad and that I’ve been in college since 2003. I like to point out the fact that she was once in college. But got pregnant and dropped out. It’s all out of love. That’s how my family is. The meaner you are to someone shows how much you love them.

Mum (21) & BB (2) in 1983

Post 7: Conversations with Babe

2008-09-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my friend Babe's birthday so after practice I decided to drive to her college and hang out with her for a little while...plus she's been going through some difficult things and I wanted to make sure she was okay (see Post 6: I wish). Babe is great at multi tasking. She was texting some dude, we'll call him Niles, while we were talking. This is a small snippet of the conversation we had while sitting outside her dorm.

Babe: [receives a text] "Ohhh. I'm so nervous!"
Me: "Ummm. Why?"
Babe: "Because he's probably gonna ask me out, just wait..." [texts Niles back]
Me: "So, it's not like you're gonna actually go out with this dude since you already have a boyfriend...are you?"
Babe: "No, I won't...but I'm still nervous. I always get nervous when guys ask me out." [texting again]
Me: [laughing] "Oh, H..."
Babe: "What do I tell him if he does ask me."
Me: "Oh I don't know...except maybe that you already have a boy and don't want/can't handle another one."
Babe: "I know but he's super cute...I wish you could meet him and see for yourself."
Me: [smiling/laughing a little]
Babe: ",What do I do Love...I'm nervous" [laughs]
Me: "Tell him you have a boy...nip it in the bud before it gets worse...duh."
Babe & Me: [laugh]
Me: "So anyway continue on with your previous story..."
Babe: "Oh, right as I was saying...[receives text and shouts] AHAHAHAHA"
Me: "What?"
Babe: [laughing] "He just asked me out, what do I do what do I do???? Tell me! What do I say?!" [stares at me with a look of nervousness and eagerness]
Me: [looks at her with the look of didn't we just have this discussion 1 minute ago]

Okay so for probably all of you that conversation doesn't seem very funny, but if you knew my friend Babe and the thoughts that go on in her head, the things that come out of her mouth...you'd find it a hell of a lot funnier! She acts kind of like a hybrid of Jessica Simpson from Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and Anna Faris from the Scary Movie movies except unlike those two girls, she's actually really smart and for the most part has pretty good common sense...she's just kind of ditzy and unpredictable when it comes to what she says. Which is why I love her so much. She keeps me laughing. And guessing.

Sadly at 11:30pm it was time for us to say our goodbyes. So we hugged and said our goodbyes. Once she was in her dorm I sent her a text and we had a mini text convo:

Me: "I love you more than oxygen"
Babe: "Haha your silly :) love you too"
Me: "lol..."
Babe: "By the way that was the best birthday present ever"
Me: "lol...what the frosty?" (I bought her a Frosty for her birthday because I'm poor)
Babe: "Seeing You!"
Me: "awwww...really?"
Babe: "Yes :) for sure was the highlight of my day"
Me: "well that says a lot since your day was lame...haha...jk"
Babe: "true...in shower lol :) text after"
Me: "K...have fun"
45 minutes later
Me: "I made it home alive"
Babe: "good! I'm glad!"
Me: "me too"

H during a softball prank at Walmart...she'd kill me I put this pic on here...oh well

Post 6: The ABC's of Me

2008-09-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

A. Attached or Single? Single. I don’t really think I’m fully ready to be in a committed relationship yet, as much as I’d love to be in one, I think I’m still a little too selfish.

B. Best Friend? I can’t really just pick one. I have a few.

C. Cake or pie? Cake fo-sho. I don’t really like pie, I love fruit raw and by itself but not really cooked and with other things…I’m weird. The way I see it, if I’m gonna eat a lot of calories like that I might as well waste in on chocolate rather than fruit.

D. Day of choice? Thursday for the fact that it’s the day before Friday and because it’s when The Office is on.

E. Essential item? It’s a three way tie between my cell phone, my car and my ipod. Without my cell phone I’d be far away from my friends (isn’t that sad how a cell phone is your lifeline to your friends?), without my car I’d get super bored (I live in the country) and probably go crazy from not seeing anybody, and without my iPod I’d have no music in my life and that would be quiet and lame.

F. Favorite color? Grayish/Tealish/Turquoise-can you picture it?

G. Gummy bears or worms? Worms.

H. Hometown? Well I was born in Syracuse, NY and raised in Penn Yann, NY; Wooster, OH; Melbourne, Australia; and Marysville, OH – but I’ve lived the longest in Marysville (and I currently live there) so which of those is my “hometown”?

I. Favorite indulgence? Oh jeez…hmmm…buying a really expensive dessert at a restaurant and massages. Ooh and when people play with my hair…I fall into a blissful sleep. Aaahhh.

J. January or July? January-I love snow and hate summer

K. Kids? I like them, not ready for them yet but I’d like to have a few someday. Right now I’m enjoying my 5 month old niece…she’s my “baby fix” for now. Again I refer to the first question, I’m too selfish to be a mum right now, I like to be able to do things on a whim and have time to do what I want…not good qualities in motherhood.

L. Life isn’t complete without? Friends, family, movies and music. Oh and my camera.

M. Marriage date? Sometime in the distant future I’m sure (see “A” and “K”)

N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 older brother (who gave me 1 sister in law and 1 niece), 1 younger brother

O. Oranges or Apples? Apples. I don’t like oranges. I can’t breath because the smell is too strong.
P. Phobias? The dark (I’m getting better) and heights (not getting better)

Q. Quotes? I have a movie quote for anytime, anyplace and for anything. I’m a movie quoting nerd. But I accept it and have embraced it.

R. Reasons to smile? Oh so many things. My amazing family and friends, my adorable niece, being alive, watching the leaves change colour….so many things but I must move on to letter “S”.

S. Season of choice? Autumn. I love the colours, the smells, the sounds…I love haunted corn mazes, hot chocolate, pumpkins, thanksgiving (which eventually leads to Christmas!), hearing the sound of the fire crackling, cuddling under warm blankets, wearing hoodies and sweatpants and slippers…the list goes on.

T. Tag 5 people: Tricia, Holly, Liv, Josh and Kristen - "You're it, quitsies!"

U. Unknown fact about me? I have many unknown facts. For example I have a heart shaped mole on the top of my left thigh

V. Vegetable? I like most veggies except onions, my mum always told me that when I grow up I’ll learn to love onions…sorry mum but I’m all growed up and I still hate onions…I’ll eat them if they’re soft and cooked in something but I hate the texture and taste…yuck.

W. Worst habit? Biting my nails is numero uno…can ADD be considered a bad habit (diagnosed my senior year of high school…thanks for taking so long to figure out it wasn’t just lazyness)? If so then that’s my number two pick.

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? I’ve had both a couple of times. I hate ultrasounds because you have to hold your pee for a really long time and then they push on your bladder…then again x-rays make you lie still which is difficult for me at times.
P.S. the ultrasounds were on my gallbladder, not my uterus.

Y. Your favorite food? Chinese anything…lo mein, potstickers, orange beef…mmmm…okay now I’m hungry. Dang.

Z. Zodiac sign? Leo. I don’t believe in horoscopes but they’re fun to read.

Picking Apples in 1986. I was two.

Post 5: I wish...

2008-09-21T13:56:00.000-07:00

I wish I could take away the guilt she feels inside. The embarrasment she hides. I wish I could make her believe that it will be okay, that she will make it through this. I don't know what else to say to comfort her except that I love her unconditionally and no matter what she does, says or thinks will ever change that. I want her to know that I know exactly what she's going through. I've done what she did, I've been where she was, I know how it feels the next day when you "sober" up and you realize what happened. The shame, the embarrasment, the awkwardness...feeling like everyone knows your secret. That everyone is staring right into your soul like they are watching a movie about your mistake. The looks of shock and awe come across their faces as they witness the event.

To Babe,
I want you to know that I love you like a little sister maybe even like a daughter. My love for you is unconditional and nothing you do will ever change that, ever. I promise you. Your secret is safe with me. Nobody will ever know. I will take it to my grave. I love you, Babe. Don't ever forget that.

- j.

Post 4: Job Searching

2008-09-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

I am still searching for a job. It's been almost a month now and still nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I'm enjoying my time off and being able to watch my niece a couple days a week but my bank account is slowly shrinking and next months bills are coming soon. The only thing I spend money on now are bills and gas, because I have no money to spend on anything else. Which in a way is fine because I guess it prevents me from buying things I don't really need, but every now and then you need to buy yourself something nice. So I buy iTunes songs because they're only $.99 each.

I'm not looking for much, just a flexible job that pays the bills with a little money left over. Ideally I'd love to work from home. I think for me that is the best. It would allow me to still watch my niece and I wouldn't have to worry about it conflicting with my photography businesss. I could schedule shoots more easily because I wouldn't have to worry about my other job getting in the way. Does anyone know of any good work at home jobs?

Well Emma is hungry and ready for her bottle. If anybody knows of any legit work from home jobs please, please let me know! Thanks.

Post 3: Confessions

2008-09-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

I am now about to confess something that for the longest time I was ashamed to admit. So here it goes. I enjoy watching One Tree Hill. Yes I know it's shocking. Why do you think it took me so long to confess? Now I know most of you who are reading this do not know me outside the blogger world, but for those of you who do know me outside the blogger world it came as a huge shock. So if you are feeling light-headed, dizzy, faint or are having difficulty breathing please seek medical help immedietly.

I actually look forward to finding out what will happen to Brooke, Peyton, Hailey, Lucas, and Nathan in the next episode. I don't know how it happen. Perhaps it was out of complete boredom or maybe it was that there was nothing else on. Or maybe, I actually really like the show. There. I said it. I like OTH. Jess, Aimee...you can laugh at me now and say "We told you you'd like it"!

Sadly, I've missed the first 3, 4 or 5 seasons (due to the fact that I would rather laugh at my friends in college while they watched it than watch it myself) and so I don't even know what season I'm watching. The latest episode I watched was the episode where Brooke gets beaten up by some guy who steals her latest designs. I believe it was last seasons because Hailey and Nathans kid is now almost 5 or something. I've done a little research on Wikipedia (which is probably the most amazing website out there) to catch up on what I've missed. And I just realized that Soap Net is now showing re-runs from the first season. So I'm slowly catching up. Which is weird because I started watching the show after Brooke, Peyton and Hailey became BFF (which I found out in todays season 1 episode they haven't always been BFF), after Lucas and Nathan became buddies and brothers and after Hailey and Nathan got married and had James Lucas Scott, aka Jaime (which I also found out in a previous season 1 episode, they used to hate each other and Hailey was BFF with Lucas).

So as you can see from my in depth research on OTH in this post, I'm quite into the show. Does that make me a dork? Or a drama loving girly girl? I don't know. Maybe it does, or maybe I'm finally accepting my inner drama-loving girly girl I've kept hidden for years due to the fact that I feared being seen as a dumb, no-brained girl who loves drama so much she watches shows that are dripping in it. Or maybe it's due to the fact that I have zero drama in my life and perhaps I need a little to keep me going.

Well whatever the reason is I do know that I look forward to curling up in my comfy La-z-boy recliner with a warm blanket surrounded by my friends, Brooke, Peyton, Hailey, Lucas and Nathan and watching their never ending drama filled lives.

Post 2: My younger brother, Boo Bear

2008-09-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

Boo Bear (he got his nickname when he was about 3. He loved watching Yogi Bear and Yogi used to say "hey boo boo..." he thought it was hilarious so we started calling him Boo Boo, which morphed into Boo Bear) is coming home soon. I'm so excited to see him and to just hang out with him like old times. I miss him so much already and he's only been away at college for a month. I miss just being able to watch TV with him. I miss watching Family Guy with him. I miss hearing him talk like Chris and Peter and making me laugh. No matter what mood I'm in Boo Bear can always make my laugh, or at least smile. I love him so much yet there are some times when he pisses me off and makes me so angry I could strangle him (out of love of course). We always forgive each other, well actually we usually forget why we even started fighting or one of us will say a funny movie quote and we will bust out laughing.

Boo Bear is 18 years old, he's about 6 foot 4 inches and really strong (he can pick me up if that says anything about his strength) and he used to wrestle in high school and he plays rugby. Yet despite all of this I'm extremely protective of him. Even though he claims he's the body guard in our little group (of the two of us). It's funny but even though he's 18 and over 6 feet tall I still see him as that tiny (if you consider 9lbs 4oz at birth to be tiny), red-faced, screaming child that I used to cover with a blanket hoping he'd disappear.

It's funny to me how I'm the OLDER sister but he's the BIG brother. I find not so funny things funny.

I guess now I know what my parents are going through with three grown children, one being a husband and a father. I guess I understand it a little bit now when my mum says to me "oh I remember when you were that little" or "I remember when you used to wear this" (as she shows me your typical mid-80's outfit that resembles something Michelle Tanner wore in Full House). And now that I'm an Aunt I get to witness my niece grow from that tiny floppy newborn to a chubby, smiling, giggling, adorable little girl with a huge personality (she has her mothers patience and her fathers temper-not a good combo, at all). It truly is amazing, a miracle even.

So here's to all the fun times we've had together Boo Bear and to the millions more that have yet to come.

I took this photo of Boo Bear before his Senior Prom. It's one of my fave's.

Post 1: What's in a name?

2008-09-17T22:00:00.001-07:00

So you wanna know the story behind my blog title/name eh? Well to be honest, I don't really have a specific story to explain it. I wanted the title "La Vita e Bella" (life is beautiful in Italian) but it was already taken, but I prefer this one anyway. I guess it's just my philosophy to life. You know, kinda like the whole "when life gives you lemons" thing.

I have a few painful stories from my past (but who doesn't right?) that maybe one day I'll share with the blogger community and I have a million things I've done that I'm slightly ashamed of, okay well maybe not a million but pretty darn close I'm sure. But I truly honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how bad you felt after you did something use it to learn something and change that thing about yourself. If bad things were done to you, use your pain to help others and I think you'll find, as I did, that helping others will in turn, ease your pain.

So I guess that's the story behind my name, if that counts as a story. Regardless of all the crap we've done and all the crap that's been done to us, and despite the pain and unhappiness we may experience at times, or the loneliness we all feel at one time or another we still have so much to live for and so much still to experience.

It is a beautiful life, after all.